He does his ‘business’
Then eats his meal
Sits and watches
Plotting a steal
Then stretches out
Taking up space
And closes his eyes
Content in his place
Monday’s Wandering Thought
When he did chores at home, he always challenged himself with time limits. Vacuum the floors or wax the furniture by such and such time. What will you give me if I do, his neurons always answered, as he rushed about, intent on his artificial goals.
Other people would probably find it silly, maybe childish, making these fake goals, but these small goals helped prop up the day’s structure and keep time from getting away from him. It worked for him, so what did he care what they cared?
It’s not like anyone knew.
Sunday’s Wandering Thought
It happened again last night. We were watching a Brit mystery on our television. Not the biggest one, a mammoth 65-inch critter, curved screen digital and all that, but the smaller 36-in digital flat screen that’s in the snug. Most of our living is in the snug. The corner recliner is the number one place for man, woman, and cats. Woman has number one claim on it, chasing the rest of us with sharply worded orders to “Get out.”
But that’s beside the point. The TV screen is big enough and digitally sharp. Not sharp enough for the moment as a character holds up a cell phone to read a text.
“Here we go,” my wife says. “What’s that say? I can’t see that. How am I supposed to see that? And they take it away so fast, I can’t even focus on it before it’s gone.”
She’s got a point. Kind of weird of them to use things like that. They provide us captions FOR THE HARD OF HEARING, as they nicely put it. (Yes, that IS sarcasm.) Would it be so difficult to include the text messages in the captions?
Saturday’s Wandering Thought
He met three visitors to the town, here for a conference. What’s your specialties, he asked, being polite, making conversation.
They study flies on dead things, they told him.
“Really,” he replied. “What’s the buzz?” He felt that it had to be said.
He didn’t win any laughs. Not even a smile. They’d heard it all before.
Friday’s Wandering Thought
When something in his home breaks, his first step in his troubleshooting and fixing process is to turn it off. He allows it to stay off for a few minutes before turning it back on. It’s surprising how often that works.
Thursday’s Wandering Thought
He got out his free weights today. They were the ‘Jack Lelane’ brand, given to him as a gift in another dimension. He theorized they would make a perfect material to fence the Roomba in and out of where he wanted it to clean.
He was right.
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He wondered which of them had fallen out of love first. He believed that he did. He felt like she was always verbally abusing him and emotionally bullying him. He had a list of trespasses against her. She probably had one for him. The best thing to do is not keep a list, but there it was. They were so much alike, and they both always made lists.
Tucker Claws
Up on the table
Tucker claws
Sits on a mat
And washes his paws
Looks around without a care
Though he knows he shouldn’t be there
Ho, ho, ho
Who is surprised?
Ho, ho, ho
Not I, not I.
Up on the table
Click, click, click
The scratches he leaves makes me sick.
Michael Seidel, writer 