When something in his home breaks, his first step in his troubleshooting and fixing process is to turn it off. He allows it to stay off for a few minutes before turning it back on. It’s surprising how often that works.
Thursday’s Wandering Thought
He got out his free weights today. They were the ‘Jack Lelane’ brand, given to him as a gift in another dimension. He theorized they would make a perfect material to fence the Roomba in and out of where he wanted it to clean.
He was right.
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He wondered which of them had fallen out of love first. He believed that he did. He felt like she was always verbally abusing him and emotionally bullying him. He had a list of trespasses against her. She probably had one for him. The best thing to do is not keep a list, but there it was. They were so much alike, and they both always made lists.
Tucker Claws
Up on the table
Tucker claws
Sits on a mat
And washes his paws
Looks around without a care
Though he knows he shouldn’t be there
Ho, ho, ho
Who is surprised?
Ho, ho, ho
Not I, not I.
Up on the table
Click, click, click
The scratches he leaves makes me sick.
Monday’s Wandering Thought
It’s very odd. The coffee shop has two restrooms. Each has a button-cypher lock. The code for each is the same. It’s written on the menu board in the coffee shop and it’s on labels on both doors. It never changes, but inevitably, people go up to the counter and ask for the restroom combination each day.
Sunday’s Wandering Thought
He was at a coffee shop yesterday. Three women came in and rearranged a section of furniture. They didn’t put it back when they left. He wondered, though, is it their job to put it back?
Of course not. But it seemed like it’d be courteous to the staff and other patrons. It’s what he would do. But is there a ‘right and wrong’ in this?
Not really. It’s furniture in a coffee shop. It’s there for people’s use and comfort, right? Sure. It just annoys him when people don’t put things back, whether it’s shopping carts or tables and chairs in a coffee shop.
It’s just one of his foibles.
Friday’s Wandering Thought
He knew a brief history of pants and also read about plural tantum, but it still bothered him to hear underwear referred to ‘a pair of underwear’ or ask for ‘a pair of pants’. He had no problem with a pair of glasses although a pair of scissors irked him. For his own use, he’d quit referring to a ‘pair’ of any of these things.
He was just trying to pare things down to make life simpler.
The Morning Mouse
He has his routines. After eating his wet food and his kibble, he heads for the desk. His guy is seated behind it, on the computer. There, on the right, is the man’s mouse, used for his computer, his hand resting on it. Eyeing it, he walks around the computer to the mouse hand, and puts his nose down and starts rubbing on his human’s hand. He usually only wants about two to three minutes of rubbing on the mouse hand before settling down for a nap, using the mouse hand as a pillow. That rarely works because the hand and mouse moves, eventually causing him to jump down to find another napping location. But all is well.
He’s had his morning mouse. It’ll suffice until after dinner. Then he’ll have his evening mouse.
Michael Seidel, writer 