Laying in bed and thinking about his dreams, he told himself, you have to get up. Feed cats. Drink coffee. Try to live.
It felt like it was going to a stretch day, a day when you stretch your energy just to be.
Ode to a Floof
A small floof,
Who liked to goof,
Was such a funny one.
She liked her people’s bed,
And being scratched on the head,
But really loved the sun.
Kibble was tasty.
And she never ate hasty,
Nor was other food shunned.
Then it was off to sleep,
Another day to keep,
And dreams about all that she’d done.
Friday’s Wandering Thought
It’s an old joke, heard every year at this time. People leaving and going in different directions tell each other as if it’s brand new, “Well, I’ll see you next year.”
Everyone laughs like it’s never been heard before.
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
The little cat, who isn’t little any longer, but is younger than the household’s alpha floof, is called Papi. He’s a ginger character, sweet but quick to put up his claws. He enjoys spiriting out to guard the yard every night. I say night, but he likes going out about 3 AM. Technically it’s still dark morning in my realm. The thing is, he returns every morning at exactly 6:37 AM, rapping on the door to get back in. His punctuality is admirable, but it makes me wonder, is the cat going off to a duty or paid position somewhere, finishing his shift at 6:30 and then returning home?
It seems reasonable…doesn’t it?
Worth Pondering
An actual tracking record for a package, courtesy of USPS, as of Tuesday, December 27, 2022, 9:26 PM.
The package is out for delivery, as it was on Monday, December 26.
Details were checked to see what was going on. Erwin Schrödinger delivered the tracking process. Heisenberg helped.
Monday, December 26
6:56 PM
Package left the carrier facility.
6:52 PM
Package left the carrier facility.
11:55 AM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
11:50 AM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
7:37 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
1:49 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
Sunday, December 25
3:59 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
10:54 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
10:49 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
Saturday, December 24
4:52 AM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
4:09 AM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
3:27 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
2:32 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
Friday, December 23
10:50 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
9:35 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
1:24 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
The Game
I never liked you, the cat said with a smile.
I was trying to kill you when I slept on your head.
It wasn’t by coincidence that I tripped you again and again.
Nor were those love bites like you always said.
And the claws weren’t a whim when I scratched till you bled.
And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.
I never liked the kibble or any of the other food.
Your treats made me sick though I begged for more.
I didn’t like the tuna which you gave off a spoon.
It was all faked when chicken made me swoon.
And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.
I’m a cat and I like games.
I get bored and the days are too much the same.
So I do what I can to keep myself entertained.
Because I’m a cat and this was just another game.
Thursday’s Wandering Thought
His eyebrows had transmorgified once more. As a youth, he had pleasant eyebrows — two clean, mildly arched lines populated with fine, neat hairs. Later, his eyebrow hairs thickened and a unibrow developed. He didn’t much mind the unibrow because he was often favorably compared to another unibrower, actor Tom Selleck, a flattering comparison. His forties found his unibrow’s center fading. Meanwhile, thicker brows appeared. A wild bramble of hairs took over. Suddenly the comparisons shifted from Selleck to the Soviet leader, Brezhnev, or television commentator Andy Rooney.
Those brows faded and changed, too. Now his brows had taken on another actor’s look, developing a Sam Waterston flip, where the eyebrows darkened and thickened again, but pointed up.
Like his eyebrows had their own life and pursued their own style. He wondered what they were going to do next.
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He always defends what he says by proclaiming that he’s just giving ‘the unvarnished truth’. But when others deliver the unvarnished truth to him, his defensiveness spikes to Mt. Everest levels.
Not a great surprise, as he lives in a very varnished bubble.
Michael Seidel, writer 