There I Go

Got my special space

at the special place

checking out the people

thinking what a waste

but for God and grace

there I go

 

Been lucky again

just like I always been

living life like it’s a mortal sin

I’ve always had an in

because of love and kin

and here I am

 

here I am

on the top

of the bottom

there I go

thinking I have problems

here I am

working the middle

there I go

again and again

 

you say

he’s such a waste

no style or grace

what’s the matter with him?

but that’s not the truth

you don’t know what he’s been through

thinking that he’s just like you

 

there you are

on the top

of the bottom

there you go

thinking you have no problems

here you are

working the middle

there you go

again and again

 

Sneeze

Don’t you hate it when you suddenly sneeze and it ends up all over your computer screen? I could really use tear-aways protective covers on my screen like racing drivers use on their windshields (NASCAR) and visors (Formula 1).

Late at Night

You ever put something on Facebook or other social media late at night, and have a friend immediately respond to it? Then you think, what are they doing on the Internet so late at night? As a sidebar, do you also sometimes wish you and that person were actually sitting beside each other so you can have an actual conversation?

There are some who remain your friends regardless of how long it was since you last saw them, and the distance between your homes. Good to know such people are out there.

Want to introduce me to a few?

 

The Photograph

You ever see a photograph of yourself and scream in horror? “Oh my God, is that really how I look?”

In this case, the photo was on a website supporting a charity where I was a volunteer drone. It’s on the page where you order the tickets for this year’s event. I can imagine people seeing my photo and asking, “Alfred Hitchcock was there? I thought he was dead.”

Funny, but I never see myself like that in the mirror. Beauty is in the beholder’s eye, innit?

Shithead

Have you ever looked back on something that happened and think, “Man, was I a shithead”? Best thing about knowing you were a shithead is that you can fight against letting the inner shithead come out. You know, apply lessons learned, and not be a shithead.

The Rhythm Method

“I’m trying to cut back on my coffee,” she said.

He said, “I use the rhythm method. I allow myself coffee on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesday and Thursdays, I permit myself a few cups of coffee. Then, on weekends and holidays, I’m entitled to a few more cups of coffee.”

“You’re drinking coffee every day.”

“Yes, it keeps my rhythm synchronized.”

The Little Ones

He volunteered to be a Little One (trademarked) the day after his eighteenth birthday in May. He could have become one before that, but that decision would have required his parents’ approval. He didn’t want to talk to them about it. They still believed he had a normal future in a normal world.

Admittedly, he didn’t understand the Little technology, but he also didn’t understand television technology, so…? Being a little person, he could reduce his bioprint. They would feed him and ensure he had water. They’d give him a little bonus for volunteering to be a Little One. He’d live in a domed little city where “the air is the cleanest air in America.” Called little SF, the city that agreed to take him was a recreation of the 1950s era San Francisco, except it had modern cars and technology. The city was located on the enormous recreation of the Pacific Ocean that they’d carved out of Kansas farmland. He could still communicate with everyone through the Internet and social media so it wasn’t like he was really leaving anything behind.

Like all Little Ones, everything in Little Land surprised him. The little cars and houses were exactly to scale. Eating utensils, computers, corn on the cob, cheeseburgers, beer cans and bottles — everything — were proportionate to his little hands. So were grass, trees, and birds. Little cows and horses dotted the countryside, and neighbors had little cats and dogs. Big little freighters came into the Little SF Bay past Little Alcatraz, docking at the Little Piers. Little fish populated the Little Pacific and the little ponds, streams, and rivers. Living there, he constantly reminded himself, “This is real.” 

He found a job in a little office where they published several little local newspapers. Little was required of him there, but the structure helped him cope. His favorite activity was to take the Little Train to Little SFO out on the Little Peninsula, and watch the Little aircraft take off, flying to other Little Land locations, like Little Chicago, Little Miami, and Little New York. He could buy a ticket and go to one, but he was, he said to himself with a wry little private chuckle, a little afraid.

Still, even with all of the evidence and his experience, he struggled to accept it was real. He began to think he was in a computer simulation or a virtual reality. He began thinking that nothing he experienced was real, that his mind and perceptions were being manipulated and conned. He began thinking, maybe it was the other world that was fake, and this world was always his real existence. He began to think, I’m a little afraid I’m not going to make it. I’m afraid I’m going a little crazy. I’m going to be a little suicide.

Then he met Candy. Her first words to him were, “Hi, I’m Candy. I’m a little tart, and a little sweet. Want to have a little fun?”

That was how he became a little bank robber. It seemed as good a way as any to spend a little time.

A Mech Life

Powerful as he felt he could be, he was limited by his space. Constantly turning, he looked for a way out but his program controlled his direction. He never regretted being a Roomba, but it was supposed to be a way-station, not a final destination. Despite that, he always cleaned in the best manner that he could, even as pieces broke and fell off, his brushes wore away, and his motor grew weaker. When, at last, he couldn’t move at all, he sat in the silence of his futility and waited for something else to carry him forward.

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