Tag: jokes

Sundaz Wandering Thoughts

My wife greeted me from the kitchen as I entered the house.

Then she said, “You’re not going to be happy with me.”

“Why?”

“I used the last of your blueberries.”

Walking in behind her, I said, “What did you say?” As she repeated herself, I held up the pint of blueberries I’d purchased on my way home.

Astonishment lit her face. “How did you know?”

“I was watching you on the house cam.”

Suspicious doubt swept her astonishment away. “The what?”

“It’s a camera installed in a wine bottle. I put it in before we went to Pittsburgh.”

“You did not.”

Laughing and walking away, I replied, “Then how did I know?”

I later caught her peering at a wine bottle. Saying nothing, she gave me a look that was loud with accusations.

5

Twozdaz Wandering Thoughts

I was deep into my DIY project. New breakfast bar lights. My wife came running in. “I need to take a bath and get cleaned up. The rapture is tomorrow!” As my eyebrows climbed, she enthused more deeply about how it’s on the Internet that the rapture would take place on September 23, 2025. It’s on the net, so it must be true.

“So don’t be surprised if you can’t find me,” she finished.

I nodded. “Yes, I know I’m going to be part of the left behind.” I’d long resigned myself to that. Don’t know if resigned was the right word. I think the world might be a better place with less people. Better if God plucked them out and took them elsewhere rather than having disease, starvation, pestilence, war, and violence take them away.

“Maybe you’ll be allowed to visit. Came up to the holy gates and talk to me.”

“Well, I guess we’ll see.”

This morning, she asked, “Hey, what happened to the rapture?” She then confided, “I had a plan. I was going to hide and leave a pile of clothes on the floor so that you’d think I was taken in the rapture.”

“What happened?”

She grinned. “I forgot.”

Guess the joke was on her.

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑