Americans Ask Supreme Court for Immunity From Trump
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a lawsuit filed on Monday, millions of Americans asked the U.S. Supreme Court to grant them immunity from Donald J. Trump.
The lawsuit argues that the Constitution was intended to protect the people from Trump, unlike the Court’s recent actions, which have protected Trump from the Constitution.
“The Constitution was designed to shield the people from domestic tyranny and foreign threats,” the filing reads. “Trump represents both.”
As a Democrat, I don’t expect relief from the SCOTUS. The damn Republicans are only interested in the Founders’ tenets which support the MAGA apparatus’s ideals of a white, ‘christian’ dictatorship led by the patriarchy. Liars, felons, and rapists accepted. Violence applauded.
Floofturbance(floofinition) – 1. The act of an animal interrupting an activity or a state of calm. Origins: 13th century, Flemish Floofish
In Use: “The summer’s peaceful evening broke up with a floofturbance out front as two dogs staged a bark-off.”
In Use: “Knowing it would gain attention they could leverage for what they wanted to get, the three house floofs comenced a floofturbance.”
2. Disrupting an animal’s repose or usual procedure or order.
In Use: “A glass bowl slipped out of Becca’s hands and fell to the floor, shattering with an ear-splitting sound and created a floofturbance which sent the cats and dogs sprinting in four different directions — except for Arnold, who leaped up and emphatically barked, “Woof,” just once.”
I saw an article about a man in Florida getting bit by a shark while fishing. I wondered, how did it happen? Was he wading? It made more sense that he was fishing in a boat in that area, but that opened the incident to more questions, like, did the shark jump into the boat? But as I began reading, I thought, if the shark jumped into the boat, that would have been the headline: “SHARK JUMPS INTO BOAT, BITES MAN”.
Satisfying myself about what had happened, I went on to other news. A few minutes pass and then my wife says, “Man fishing in Florida gets bit by shark. How did that happen? Did the shark jump into the boat?”
Chilly morning at 57 F under deep blue skies. It’s Saturday, June 29, 2024. A little smoke comes in through the northern windows, irritating my eyes and forcing sneezes out of me. Several wildfires are burning within a few hours of us; don’t know of any local ones, but smoke on the wind always takes me to the net to get updates. Supposed to reach 87 F today, which is a satisfying temp, continuing a week of mild summery weather.
I asked AI where the smoke we’re experiencing is coming from. AI responded with suggestions about two old fires from several years back. I’m like, WTF, really? AI also suggested that it could be cars, fossil based fuels, or neighbors could be burning wood in their stoves and fireplaces to keep warm. Finally, AI suggested it could be manufacturing. Thanks, AI. Damn fine job.
It’s a Saturday and the news cycle is slow. Supremes are saying that we should have a ruling on Trump’s immunity case on Monday. I’m eager to read and hear how that goes as there are tremendous ramifications associated with it. All the lower courts said as directly and quickly as possible, “No, you don’t have immunity,” but it’s hard to say what to expect with this Supreme Court. A heavily conservative court, they manage to really twist history, logic, and law. Besides that, three appointments on the court owe their positions to Trump, so there are questions about how objective these appointees can be.
Besides that, one, Justice Thomas, has been receiving high-end luxury vacations given to him by wealthy Republicans. He didn’t bother reporting most of these and seems arrogantly indignant that any of this could be tit-for-tat payments. Doesn’t help his image that his wife, Ginni, is a MAGA who insists that the 2020 election was stolen, and actively engaged with others to come up with ways to keep Trump in the White House.
Besides, we have Justice Samuel Alito who gives all kinds of appearances of being partial to right wing ideology and a willingness to aid and advance right wing causes. He and his wife flew the US flag upside down at their house to show their distress about the 2020 election being stolen and lied about how it happened. Sam, being a noble fellow, blamed his wife and said he had nothing to do with it and couldn’t do anything about it. They also flew a MAGA sympathizing flag at their vacation place for a few weeks, but he knows nothing ’bout it. That would be enough for many to wonder about Sam’s objectivity in cases regarding Trump, but to seal concerns, he was caught on tape showing more of his right-wing, religious ideology.
After all these red flags and how this Supreme Court has thrown previous legal precedents out the window, we’re all left wondering what they’ll decide.
The house floofs inspired my morning mental music stream (Trademark riffing) inhabitant. Tucker and Papi teamed up to drag me out of bed. I needed dragging because I wanted more sleep. Nope, wasn’t happening. Papi, per his habit, enters the room and yells a request and then goes down the hall. Tucker gets more personal and proximal about it. After bellowing yowls, he gets on the bed, walks up to my head, and starts tapping me, grumbling as he does. I mollified him with some sleepy scritches. He settled down and purred. I headed back to sleep but Papi revisited, yelling several times that he needed something.
With that background, I was head mumbling about how the cats get what they want, which led to The Neurons playing the part of “Heart and Soul” where Huey Lewis sings, “You see, she what she wants.” As I acknowledged the song’s presence, Huey Lewis and the News began doing their whole 1984 cover of the song. So that’s today’s theme music.
Be strong, lean forward, Vote Blue, and stay positive. Here’s the music; sorry, the coffee is already gone, circulating among the neurons. Cheers
Occuflooftion(floofinition) – An activity engaged with an animal. Origins: 14th century French floofish.
In Use: “Derek declared himself as ‘not a cat person’ to his wife but after the kittens came and demonstrated an aggressive and fearless willingness to attack anything, Derek’s primary relaxation at home became an occuflooftion like feeding the cats, playing with them, or napping together.”
In Use: “As Barb aged, she adopted an energetic puppy, and walking him become a time-consuming but enjoyable occuflooftion.”
I have a shower habit. After I’ve cleaned everything and rinsed, I stand under the streaming warm water and do a five second countdown to turn the water off. I think that if I didn’t do that, I’d stand under that water until the hot water was no more. Just feels so good on my bod’.
Even with the countdown, I usually need to more seconds to actually turn off. Ah, showers. Great invention.
Floofibuster(floofinition) – Action by an animal which presents actions from being advanced. Origins: 1851, southern United States.
In Use: “Hissing and growling cats floofibustered the people from entering the room more than the door’s threshold, putting a pause to the tour.”
In Use: “Atlas leaped up, barking and growling at the doorway, floofibustering Suzanne’s plans to go to sleep without first taking the bat to see what was going on.”
Humfloofbo(floofinition) – A practice used by animals to help develop relationships with people. Origins: Old Floofish. Modern scholars theorize the word means ‘human-floof-bond’ but no evidence has been brought forward to support that idea.
In Use: “Humfloofbo evidence is experienced by many every day, and cell phones and social media help spread awareness of its existence.”
In Use: “Many young floofs such as kittens or puppies attempt early humfloofbo efforts by nuzzling, licking, or biting humans while elephants will use trunks to stroke people as part of their humfloofbo.”
Michael Seidel, writer 