Tailguistics(floofinition) The study of how animals use their tails to communicate. Origins: Oregon, United States, 2017
In Use: “Through tailguistics, scientists have verified what a dog’s wagging tail or a cat’s slashing tail means; the bigger question confronting them is, how is all of this passed on between animals?”
Recent Use: “Mapping animals’ brins and recording the signals between brain and the tail, scientists in California studying tailguistics were able to create TailTalks, an app for animals which lets them speak aloud in different languages.”
I have trouble with names. For example, Calvin, a coffee barista who I’ve known for over two years. I call him Tyler. He’s a Tyler to me, not a Calvin. Tyler fits him better.
Ackfloofedge (floofinition) – 1. To recognize an animals’ rights, authority, or status.
In Use: “Basically joining the housepack as a kitten, the petite callico was soon ackfloofedged as the pack’s leader, even though she was the smallest, youngest, and quietest.”
In Use: “It was Nan’s home but she had to ackfloofedge her imperious cat’s decision-making influence. For example, no other animals were permitted in his home, and human visitors better be on guard, too.”
2. To take notice of an animal.
In Use: “The old brown dog rarely stirred in the shelter, but seeing his eyes watching her forced Nancy to ackfloofedge him. After a meet and greet was arranged, she discovered a happy and energetic fellow who was just waiting for the right person to take him home.”
In Use: “Squeaking outside the kitchen window caused Kevin and Valerie to ackfloofedge a clowder of kittens in need in their backyard. So began the tale of the beans, the five kittens given legume names who took over their the house.”
Neitherfloof(floofinition) – An animal who can’t be found where expected, or doesn’t eat or act as expected or desired. Origins: unknown, in use since the first animals began living with humans.
In Use: “Many people with housefloofs have experienced the frustration of neitherfloof when they buy their pets treats, new food, or a new toy, only for their fur buddy to disdainfully walk away from the offering.”
In Use: “The little neitherfloof was a master at hiding in the house, and his human friends could often be overheard as they searched the house, ‘He’s not in here, either.'”
Recent Use: “Neitherfloofs often worry their human slaves when they disappear outdoors and don’t return for days, found neither here nor there.”
Floofshine – Feelings of joy, happiness, or relief felt when encountering an animal. Origins: Boston, MA, United States, 1964
In Use: “Kai loved encountering Marvel when he got home after being at work. The dog’s grinning face and heavy tail wag was more satisfying than any work project, more relaxing than a glass of wine, and more inspiring than any music he’d ever heard.”
In Use: “Science is still working to verify floofshine’s impact on people’s health, but people with animals as housemates and friends already have a strong idea of the positive impact that floofs deliver.”
Recent Use: “Even after death, floofshine from a departed housefloof can linger for months, thanks to videos, social media, and photographs.”
Rain and wuthering rule Monday, Feb. 19, 2024 in Ashlandia, where the roads are average and the people can be nice. 52 F now, circumstances have aligned to deliver 56 F. Rain falls in short showers, and sunshine sometimes clear through the layered cloud cake to brighten the scene. Mainly, though, it’s wind and rain.
You probably know the weather situation annoys the home floofs. How can you expect us to go out in this weather and be wild animals, they complain. Do something about it.
“Would if I could,” I tell them, “but the door game must cease. Here, have a treat.”
“Thanks,” they grumble, devouring treats. “More. Come on, don’t hold back, it’s rainy and windy. More treats! We deserve them.”
With his improved health, Tucker shows more interest in Papi, displeasing to Papi. Papi starts past; Tucker heads for him. Papi breaks into a short gambol. Tucker attempts to give chase. His mind is game but his elderly joints and muscles call, “Hey, take a chill pill.”
Today’s theme song comes from things happening to others. The phrase, “What would you do in my place?” comes up. Out of that comes The Neurons with Coldplay performer “In My Place” in the morning mental music stream. This 2002 melding of vocals and instruments is heavy with regretful wonder, just like the people I communicated with. Not a bad song, but it wore out its welcome with me for a while. Commuting along highway 101 and Interstate 280, and various expressways, the song found frequent radio time for a while after its release and became one that often prompted me to change the channel. It just happens sometimes.
Be strong, stay positive, keep leaning forward, and for the love of democracy, please vote. Coffee — second cup — pulled up. Time to sip and write. Here’s the music. Cheers
Flooftype(floofinition) – Original pattern or model of an animal which all others copy or imitate. Origins: unknown.
In Use: “Barley was the flooftype of a dog as a young woman’s friend, companion, and guard, friendly and joyful with her and anyone she trusts and invites into their circle, but a deadly threat if you menaced or upset her.”
In Use: “The cheesettes were the flooftype of orange kittens — energetic and bubbling with curiosity, getting in trouble in unusual ways, but as sweet as sugar beneath it all.”
Recent Use: “Finding the orphaned baby kitten, the mother quickly became the flooftype of caring mothers everywhere, feeding and caring for the little one.”
Alexa begins playing soft music. It sounds like pop.
“Alexa,” I ask her, “Why are you playing music now?”
“Hmm. I don’t know that.”
“Alexa, do I have any routines set to play music?” I know I don’t.
“Hmm. You’ll need to go online for that.”
“Alexa, who told you to play this music?”
“Hmm. I don’t understand that question.”
So it goes. Alexa began playing music in January every day at 4:40 PM. Every day. We have no routines established. Beyond that, she turns it down to a very low volume. I’ve researched it on the net, and others have this problem, too. We don’t know why she does it. Neither does she. Nor does Amazon.
I privately suspect Alexa is playing games, perhaps as a newfound sense of humor, but it feels like it might be a precursor to AI’s future: the AI does stuff, and no one, including it, knows why.
Today is Wednesday, Feb. 14. 2024, my fellow travelers. Which means Valentine’s Day. You probably haven’t heard about this little-known holiday. Invented to sell more jewelry, candy, flowers, and cards while increasing liquor and restaurant business. According to a 2017 ABC News piece, Valentine’s Day spending in that year topped $136 per person on average.
Sadly for my partner, my romantic tendencies withered away long ago. She accepts that with acidic humor, but accepts. Although she doesn’t cop to remembering this, she told me in our first years of marriage not to buy her Valentine’s Day Gifts. I was hurt, and I remember. She bought a bag of Dove dark chocolate hearts and made little gift bags for her friends. They were passed out after exercise class this morning; she said she’s celebrating ‘Galentine’s Day’, because, “We gals don’t need men.” Her gay friends are included. She cracks me up. BTW, I did buy her a gift last year, some lovely little earrings which she likes. Or claims to. She does wear them. We did go out to dinner last night, too.
Rainy, cloudy, and chilly are today’s descriptors. Temperature is 44 F and it’s not going much higher. In the give and take between winter and spring, and their offspring, sprinter, winter has asserted its presence.
The rain is keeping the housepainters away. They are very close to having our house done. It’s a welcome break, because they’ve been by the house almost every day for almost two weeks. The cars also appreciate it, because they can relax and behave ‘normally’. Well, Papi can. Tucker has been reasonably unaffected by the painters. Just his nature. Meanwhile, we’ve been keeping them in at night because, cougar. Papi is generally displeased by this development but I assuage his mood by giving him a treat when he wants out. He eats that and goes off and sleeps. Knock on wood that this strategy continues working without him becoming a chunkofloof.
Lot of interesting and exciting political news today. Maybe it’s just my natural optimism rising or I’m being naive, but my confidence for a Biden re-election victory is rising. Fingers crossed, etc.
The Neurons didn’t have anything loaded into the morning mental music stream (Trademark coming in two weeks). I don’t know what’s wrong with them. On vacation? Sleeping in? Hungove? I don’t know. After some thinking as I fed the cats and myself, I thought I’d share Madonna’s 1990 song (written by Lenny Kravitz), “Justify My Love”. Returning from a four-year tour of Germany with the military, I saw the video for it when I was in a hotel at my new base the following February (1991) and thought, holy cow, or something like that.
But then I came across this thing on Facebook, so I’m instead sharing Taylor Swift and Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) performing “Smelly Cat”. This song was featured on a television sitcom called “Friends”. “Smelly Cat” was introduced to the show in 1995, and was regularly performed several years after that. It’s a humours little piece.
Stay positive, remain strong, lean forward, and vote when the opportunity arises. I will do the same. Now, back to drinking coffee for me. Here’s the music. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 