That was my opening to Dad when I phoned him today. My opening was part of a routine we’ve been doing for five decades, except I used to refer to him as ‘old man’. In a previous call, I’d explained to him that he’d graduated from being an old man to being an old geezer.
Dad responded as expected. “Boy,” the nonagenarian said. “I can still kick your butt.”
I laughed. “Sure, if I hold your cane for you and keep your oxygen on hand.”
He laughed. “Yeah, that’s true.”
Lots of laughter and teasing followed. It was a good conversation.
Floofteel(floofinition) – An animal who exhibits high class, or aristocratic mannerisms and behavior. Origins: 1603, Flooflish derived from Flench, itself originating with Old Flooftin, floof, meaning a furry creature. Traced to ‘gentle floof’ which grew into its current form, floofteel.
In Use: “A long-haired floofteel, Cora received guests visiting her owner, JaMykael, like she was a queen meeting subjects there to pay homage.”
The holiday party season has kicked off. One day already this week. Tonight is the second. Then there are parties, outings, brunches, and get togethers on Satyrda, Sunda, Twozda, and Thirstda. My spouse is quite popular. That’s a lot of socializing for one like me, who, my wife tells me, is a virtual recluse. Thank dawg for the breaks.
Getting ready was easier this year. Weight loss has given me a broader range of clothing choices. Hurrah for that. Most important part of this was that I didn’t need to iron anything. Hurrah for that!
Also, my wife still giggles whenever she encounters me in underwear with a shirt and socks but sans pants. Come on, girl, it’s been more than fifty years. Do you really still find it that humorous?
Guess it’s one of those eyes of the beholder things.
Yes, this is another absolute scam. Money was already appropriated for military housing. Trump deviously redirected some of it and called it a win. Like moving the goalposts, innit? All to bribe the military’s approval of him because he’s that shallow, weak, and desperate for approval.
Did you hear? Trump believes himself to know more about grass than anyone because he owns a lot of golf courses.
Trump added, “I have a lot of golf courses all over the place. I know more about grass than any human being, I think, anywhere in the world.”
~snip~
*cough cough gag gag laugh* Sure he does.
Trump also complained that lawn mowers are complicated and probably need a high IQ to operate.
Trump said, “Farming equipment has gotten too expensive. They put these environmental excesses on the equipment, which don’t do a damn thing except make it complicated, make it impractical, and frankly, you really have to be, in many cases, you need about 185 IQ to turn on a lawnmower.”
As I’ve noticed many ‘brown-skinned’ people, the kind that that Trump routinely disparages, operating lawnmowers during the last decade, does this mean that they have high IQs?
I think Trump’s opinion about needing a high IQ to turn on a lawnmower makes us realize what a true idiot he is. I wonder, too: did Trump ever try turning on a lawnmower?
Maybe that’s how Trump hurt his hand. He tried turning on a lawnmower but wasn’t smart enough.
The Great Penny Adjustment of 2025 has begun! Here’s my two cents about it.
The last penny in the United States was minted, ending a 238-year run.
The last pennies minted sold for a mint.
Last US cents sold at auction for a sum of $16.76 million were worth a pretty penny
Yes, there’s a national penny shortage now because pennies are no more. Well, there are no new ones. Hoarding pennies is a contributing factor. People hope their pennies will be worth more someday…
Here in Ashlandia, businesses are adjusting. My current favorite coffee hang, RoCo, has announced that due to the penny shortage, change will be rounded off to the nearest multiple of five. They’re always giving me six cents in change. I’ve always told them, “Keep the penny,” or dropped it into the ever present penny bowl.
Will the penny bowl remain? Doubtful. I mean, why would they?
Now BiMart has a notice up: “Due to the nationwide penny shortage, please pay in correct change.”
They owed me 88 cents after my purchase. I told them to keep the pennies. The cashier replied, “Thanks. I only have two pennies left.” Then she took a nickel off the top of the register. “Someone found this and gave it to me. You take it.” I laughed and accepted, thanking her. That was the gracious thing to do. I’ll pass it on to someone else.
I live on Clay Street. Diane Street is three blocks away. It’s to the north, so it’s ‘up north’. But it’s at a lower elevation, so it’s ‘down the road.’ I pretty comfortably hold these two ideas in mind, even though they might appear to be at odds with one another. I suspect that this is why so many of The Neurons are packing up and abandoning me.
I park the car and head up the street towards the coffee house. As it happens on other days, four more people are making the same trek. We all share an urgency and focus to our movement. I think again, we’re like ants going toward a piece of food, and amuse myself again, thinking, coffee ants. I can almost picture the others with waving antennae…
Floofcretion(floofinition) – 1. A product of animal discharges, body ejections, shedding, etc.. Origins: 1846, from A Home Guide for Life with Animals.
In Use: “Michael loved his cats but admitted that their floofcretion — hairballs, shedded fur and whiskers, and litter box donations — sometimes wore him out.”
2. The quality of an animal’s ability to be cautious or reserved. Origins: Middle flooflish from the 14th century.
In Use: “The two puppies were completely different, with Normal being the soul of floofcretion, never barking or whining, always happy and gently playful, while his sister, Abby, terrorized feet, shoes, socks, and furniture, raging with loud barks and growls whenever anyone exercised the temerity to approach the house.”
3. Ability to right to judge, rule, or govern an animal’s sounds, activities, or behavior. Origins: 17th century, noted first written use found in A Book of Rulings for the Governance of Animals in Homes.
In Use: “Many humans think that if they let animals like cats and dogs into their homes, floofcretion is theirs by fiat, but the animals often turn the tables on humans when it comes to matters like what the animal can eat, where they can sleep, what they can attack, when they can race around the house…and other irritating but endearing flooftivities.”
Michael Seidel, writer 