Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Tom Floof and the Heartbreakers (floofinition) – American floof-rock music group that was very popular on FM (floof modulated) radio during the 1980s and 1990s.
In use: “Whenever the family left the house, the cat and dog put on “Running Down A Hall” by Tom Floof and the Heartbreakers, and had a howlingly good time. Of course, when the family returned, it appeared as though the cat and dog hadn’t stirred during the entire time that they were gone.”
Floofticate (floofinition) – Chew, as done by an animal, on objects such as slippers, wood, pillows, etc.
In use: “Whenever she left the house, she first checked the collie’s mood, for if the dog was anxious, she would floofticate anything that she found, and Marie had already gone through too many shoes this year. It’d been that way since her husband had died.”
She thought, by the way he was behaving, that the tabby wanted to go out via the pet door. The hard plastic cover was off, but he had issues with it. The youngest (and newest) member of their floofdom, he’d not been socialized well. He distrusted people and other animals, and stayed wary. That seemed like learned behavior, as he was otherwise so sweet, and smart.
He always had trouble with the pet door, though. Her working theory was that the other cats (old and tough rescues from the street who still argued about who ruled the house) often ambushed the tabby when he used the pet door, so he was leery of it. It fit, as theories go.
“You want to go out?” she asked him, heading for the pet door. Sitting four feet from it, he lifted his pretty green eyes from the pet door to regard her but immediately put attention back on the door. His look said, there’s someone out there. If you want to know, you look.
She scoffed. “There’s no one out there. I’ll prove it.”
Looking out, she did see another. Not recognizing them in the dim light (was it the fluffy cat from next door?) she got down on her hands and knees. Pushing the door flap up, she called to the other animal, “Here, kitty, kitty.” As it ambled toward her, she realized, skunk.
Post haste, she dropped the flap and put the hard plastic door on. Standing, hands on hips, she gazed down at her tabby. “You knew, didn’t you?” she accused him.
Yawning, he stood and stretched. Entertainment over, he turned, put his tail up, and dashed down the hall.
Comfloofmacious (floofinition) – An animal who is stubbornly disobedient.
In use: “Ordering the comfloofmacious ginger feline to get off the kitchen counter earned her an amused emerald gaze from the cat.”
State the problem
divide the tale
multiply the problems
carry the voice
subtract the boring
and reduce the remainder
Transflooftion (floofinition) – An exchange between animals, or between an animal and a human.
In use: “Pets always found a comfortable position on the sofa beside him. Certain locations and positions were favored among the floofizens. All knew one moving would initiate a transflooftion to reach the best place, which was, of course, right up against the warmth of the man’s abdomen.”
“Floof Shack” (floofinition) – Popular song by the American floof-rock group, the Floof-52s.
In use: “As “Floof Shack” played on the floofbox, the animals danced and sang, all joining in on the iconic lines, ‘Food bowl…empty.'”
The Rolling Floofs (floofinition) – A musical floof group formed by two cats, a dog, several hamsters, and a bird during the 1960s, known for their rock and floof songs.
In use: “Whenever The Rolling Floofs’ early songs come on, such as “Get Off of My Tail”, “(I Can’t Get No) Decent Treats”, or “Under My Paw”, other floofs remember where they were when the song first came out and sing along.”
Floofnado (floofinition) – 1. Whirlwinds or wind devils caused by the passage of a speedy, energetic animal.
In use: “Quiet conversations about the upcoming wedding were disrupted by a floofnado as the dog rocketed into the room, dashed around, evading a child chasing it, and sprinted back out of the room.”
2. A wind-based weather phenomena with an animal embedded in it.
In use: “One of the most famous examples of floofnado was a waterspout which had captured several sharks, becoming known as a sharknado.”
We started building a new jigsaw puzzle on SuperMonday, so we’ve been working on it for several superdays.
This one is used (always a worry, because what if pieces are missing?), purchased from the town Goodwill for $1.49. Depicting a village green with a growers’ market and shoppers in front of a row of shops, it offers a variety of color.
A big ‘un for us, fifteen hundred pieces, over three feet long by almost two feet, the puzzle sprawls across the dining room table. Some many pieces must be appraised and sorted that we’ve added containers. Detainees for specific sections — “Oh, wait, that’s part of the flower cart” — “This belongs to the watermelon guy” — are set aside until we can get to a point where they can be added.
We’ve worked out several categories of pieces during our process.
As this is an ‘interlocking ;uzzle’, no weird shapes exist. That’s good. We’d developed a vocabulary for pieces during past efforts (“I’m looking for an angel with black blob feet.”), but my partner prefers straightforward shapes. Unusual shapes annoy her.
Jigfloofs have been diligently employing a paws on approach, often walking among the pieces and on the puzzle in progress to give us their help. While their help is welcomed, of course, we generally remove them from the actual work space with gentle words (“Damn it, get off, I can’t see, stupid cat!”) to the chairs, where they curl up and sleep until a need for them arises again.
The puzzle is coming along. I estimate it to be sixteen point three percent completed (accurate, ain’t I?). We should finish it in time for next year. Meanwhile, optimists to the bone, we’ve been searching local stores and the net for our next project.
Someday, we’ll get a life.
Michael Seidel, writer 