Mr. Floof

Mr. Floof (floofinition) – Originally from Arizona, Mr. Floof was a Floof Angeles-based American floof rock (flock) band formed in 1982. Although credited with several hit songs, success was fleeting, and they disbanded in 1990.

In use: “One of Mr. Floof’s most successful songs was “Broken Floofs”, based on the Kahlil Floofbran book by the same name.”

Flooftonymy

Flooftonymy (floofinition) –  A figure of floof speech consisting of using the name of an object or concept for that of another with which it is associated.

In use: “When Baskins didn’t return home according to his usual practice, the dogs wondered what had happened to the can opener, a flooftonymy commonly employed by the pack for a human who regularly feeds them.”

Floofbilly

Floofbilly (floofinition) – An unsophisticated animal from a backwoods area.

In use: “The movie,  The Beverly Floofbillies, and subsequent telefloofsion series by the same name, was a comic send up of floofbillies attempting to reason with a wealthier, shallower world through the lenses of their own simple culture.”

My Chemical Floofmance

My Chemical Floofmance (floofinition) – A Floof Jersey floof rock (flock band). Founded in 2001, the band combined goth influences in their stage personae and floof punk (flunk), emo, pop punk, and attic rock (defined as things that you hear somewhere in the house that you’re not sure about).

In use: “My Chemical Floofmance’s third studio album, My Floof Parade, featuring the songs “Welcome to the Floof Parade” and “Famous Floof Words”, was certified double platinum in the UFA and the United Floofdom.”

Ben Floofs Five

Ben Floofs Five (floofinition) – A North Floofina alt floof rock (flock) trio formed in 1993. Active for seven years before breaking up, the biggest hit was “Flick” in 1997.

In use: ” Ben Floofs Five’s biggest hit was “Flick”, a song about one animal’s deliberate tail flicking in other’s faces. The song gained controversy as the band refused to what species was flicking its tail.”

Floofmanity

Floofmanity (floofinition) – 1. The quality or state of being humane toward animals.

In use: “To judge from the viral videos propagating across the net in which people save, rescue, and protect animals, floofmanity is growing at an exponential pace.”

2. The totality of animal existence.

In use: “The cultivation of mindspeak in humans, permitting improved communications between animals and humans, would benefit floofmanity and humanity.”

Cheap Floof

Cheap Floof (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) band formed in Floofinois. Originally established in the early 1970s, Cheap Floof didn’t achieve commercial success until the late 1970s with the album, Cheap Floof at Floofokan.

In use: “One of Cheap Floof’s signature songs is “Floof Police”, which was released in 1979.”

Floofcom

Floofcom (floofinition) – 1. A humorous situation involving an animal.

In use: “Living with a macaw was like being in a floofcom as the smart and curious bird loves exploring and being involved in the family’s activities.”

2. A quantum floofchanics communication systems animals employ to soundlessly exchange messages.”

In use: When one of his cats disappeared, Michael told his house floofs, “Please use your floofcom and tell Papi to come home right away because I’m worried about him.” Fifteen minutes later, the cat was back.”

The Fabulous Thunderfloofs

The Fabulous Thunderfloofs (floofinition) – Texas floof blues (floues) band formed in 1974. Still active today, they’ve gone through sixteen lineup changes and have released fourteen albums.

In use: “Led by Floof Wilson on vocals, The Fabulous Thunderfloofs scored a hit with “Fluf Enuff” in 1986, their highest charting song in the UFA to date.”

A Truth

My wife revealed a truth about myself that I didn’t know. I said, “Have you tasted the potato salad?”

She answered, “No, what’s wrong with it?”

“That’s a weird response.”

“Well, that’s what you say when you don’t like something or think it tastes funny.”

“Do I?” She was right. When I like something, I just say that. But when I don’t like something, I seek validation that someone else doesn’t like it.

I liked the pot salad, though. Was this then an exception to my approach to food, a new beginning, or just the way it’s always been, unnoticed among my general idiosyncrasies?

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