Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofbonacci Sequence (floofinition) – The precise order of motions or routines an animal follows whenever a task or activity is completed.
In use: “Every animal establishes a floofbonacci sequence. Dogs often like to turn three times before lying down. Papi, a ginger cat, must always stand and stretch, front legs, back legs, followed by a yawn and a back arch, as part of his floofbonacci sequence before coming into the house.
Sassafloof (floofinition) – An animal who is bold, lively, and full of spirit.
In use: “The little gray kitty, Bean, now one year old, has been a sassafloof since the day she was born, with little sign of changing.”
Toenivore (floofinition) – Animal who likes chewing on people’s foot digits.
In use: “Teak is a wonderfully loving and sweet animal who is also a toenivore, fond of taking on exposed feet, whether someone is walking by, sitting and reading, or asleep in bed, forcing the household to issue guidelines to ALWAYS WEAR SOCKS.”
Took a flight to the moon last night
Traveling real fast on beams of light
If you didn’t look you probably missed the sight
Don’t you know?
Slipped in by Mercury
Swept on in past the sun
Man, you wouldn’t believe the fun
Don’t you know?
Then we turned and left our galaxy
Flying like a bird on a universal breeze
Firing past time like it couldn’t be
Don’t you know?
Went on to the Universe’s edge
Stood there like it was a window ledge
Thought about jumping but fell back instead
Don’t you know?
Stayed in my room deep in dreams
Making up stories and fantastic schemes
Man, you should have been part of the scene
Don’t you know?
Floofphoria (floofinition) – Eperience (or affect) of pleasure or excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness brought on by an animal’s presence, thinking about an animal, or viewing an animal video or photograph.
In use: “During troubling times — when the pandemic’s numbers are rising from people testing positive, and the news seems generally bleak — people turn online for stories about animal rescues along with funny or touching videos about animals, trusting that the floofphoria will lift their spirits and make them feel a little better…for a while.”
There was a cat in the pantry
A floof with the flour
Back past a few cans of beans
Though washing a leg
He issued a green-eyed gaze
That asked, why are you looking at me?
Issuing a hard squawk, a jay glided into the backyard, settling among the crispy brown weeds after a few hops. Cool mountain air stirred the firs and cherry tree bordering the yard.
A ginger and white cat shading herself on the patio flipped over onto her belly and watched the bird. Green eyes grew big. Watchful. She chittered.
The bird snapped off a chirp. Cat and bird glanced around. Six AM on Saturday, a fenced yard. No humans were about.
The cat strolled into the weeds. Bird hopped to her. Exchanges were issued. Then, business.
“What you got?” the cat asked.
“Not much. Neighbors across the street have gone camping. Will be back Friday. Fran, two doors down, fell. Bruised herself but broke nothing. Sissy was sunning herself on her roof yesterday, started taking selfies and almost fell off.”
The cat chuckled. “People.”
“You?”
“Not much. Bear visited the Miltons. Drained their hummingbird feeder. Flipped over a trash can.”
“Heard that. You pass this stuff on to your people?”
“Try. I tell them but they don’t seem to grasp it.”
“Well, keep trying, sister.”
“You, too, brother.”
“Keep cool.”
“Stay safe.”
They parted ways. A while later, the man entered the backyard. Chuckled the cat’s way. “Heard you and that bird going at it.”
The cat meowed several times back, trying to convey the information learned.
“What is it? What are you telling me? You hungry? Want water? A treat? What is it?”
The cat repeated the stories the bird had shared.
The man shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” He went on to water the garden.
The cat sat down with a sigh. That all summed up the problem. People could hear but couldn’t understand.
Michael Seidel, writer 