Floofbert’s Rules of Order
Floofbert’s Rules of Order (floofinition) – Reference guide used by animals to provide the orderly conduct of meeting with one another.
In use: “While Floofbert’s Rules of Order is accepted among many animals, especially housepets, a number of animals refuse to embrace the guidance, arguing that it is against the laws of nature. This is especially so among cats, who believe they are chosen by the gods to rule.”
Floofspection
Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.
In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”
Barfing Floof
Barfing Floof (floofinition) – Annual event among pets focused on art, self-expression, and self-reliance, highlighted by a period when they all start bringing up hairballs.
In use: “The annual Barfing Floof always troubled Michael. First only one cat participated but he apparently convinced the others that they should participate. At least it was just hairballs. Finely formed hairballs. He wondered how they did that. And why.”
Kibble Up
Kibble Up (floofinition) – Floof slang (flang) for an animal who stops to eat ravenously while in the middle of another activity.
In use: “The puppy and kitten were battling and chasing, but stopped to kibble up when they veered near the food bowls.”
Floofeopathy Therapy
Floofeopathy Therapy (floofinition) – Alternative medical principles practiced by animals based on theories that animals can detect illnesses and diseases and help other creatures fight their medical issues and recover.
In use: “She, being human, wasn’t familiar with floofeopathy therapy, but a few days before she went to the doctor and discovered she had breast cancer, her stripped tabby and her miniature collie came to her, settled on either side of the affected area, and stared deep into her eyes. They did this whenever she rested, a routine that persisted until the cancer appeared to go into remission.”
Michael Seidel, writer 