Tag: humor

New Technology

I just read of a new technology that I could actually use. The latest activity trackers, like Fitbit, have a new optional app called Closer. It works like this. If you and your spouse or partner, or whomever, have activity trackers with Closer on it, the systems can be bonded. Closer can then be activated by cycling through apps, then pressing on it when it’s on your device face.

What’s it do? Well, the bonded devices will show an arrow to where the other is located. The closer the two devices are, the larger and greener the arrow will become. If you’re moving away from them, the arrow turns red and small.

Ad campaigns tout several uses. One, if you’re in a store like Costco or a mall and don’t know where the other person is, just call up Closer and follow the arrow. Two, you can find the other’s device if they’ve misplaced it.

Pretty neat, huh? I know it’s a lot like the apps and trackers used to find keys and phones, but I just made all of that up. Closer doesn’t exist, as far as I know. Consider this an early April Fool’s Day entry.

Cheers

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Floofboree

Floofboree (floofinition) – A large, festive gathering of animals.

In use: “After midnight, the housefloofs went outside and hosted a floofboree in the backyard, inviting the local skunks and squirrels, raccoons and bears, mice and rats, along with the other cats and dogs. It was a swell time until the skunks got overly excited and sprayed everyone.”

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Sopfloofrific

Sopfloofrific (floofinition) – An animal’s influence on making people sleep.

In use: “His dog and cat found him whenever he sat to read and climbed onto his lap, which became a sopfloofrific prelude to a nap.”

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Floofvision

Floofvision (floofinition) – 1. An added layer of telecommunications visible and audible to animals but beyond human comprehension.

In use: “Boo and Oliver enjoy sitting by the television, watching floofvision, which brings them up-to-date infloofmation about animals, new floofnology, and general enterfloofment.”

2. Formally, an organization founded by a woman to end animal abuse.

In use: “Raven tells everyone everywhere, whomever and wherever she meets them, about Floofvision and her goal of a world free of animal abuse. Humans are starting to pay attention, but the animals are beginning to flock toward her as a new Floofsiah.”

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