Double Floof Dare
Double Floof Dare (floofinition) – Defiant taunt used among animals, especially young housepets, to issue challenges chiefly regarding breaking rules or doing reckless acts.
In use: “The kittens were milling around the kitchen when one said to another, “I double floof dare you to climb her leg and get on the counter,” so the challenged kitten, a little black female named Onyx, immediately started climbing. I mean, she’d been double floof dared. What else could be done?” From Tales Around the Floofsite
Flooficare
Flooficare (floofinition) – International organization dedicated to providing animals medical care and health assistance.
In use: “Started in 1999, Flooficare has reached out to animals around the world, while infiltrating human organization and activities to provide a positive spin to human activities which affect animals — which is, as animals fondly point out, everything.”
Floofscience
Floofscience (floofinition) – Animal anticipation of the course of events.
In use: “Keri’s pets knew with amazing floofscience when she was going for something to eat, rising wherever they were and meeting her in the kitchen in perfect synfloofnicity.”
Floofidel
Floofidel (floofinition) – One who is not an animal or who opposes animals or animal rights.
In use: “Many floofidels believe animals are soulless, that they don’t feel emotions, or, because they’re not ‘man’, or human, do not deserve the same rights as humans. Fortunately, the ranks of floofidels are shrinking. Yet, the smart floof should be aware that they’re still out there.” From Training A Human, A Guide for Young Floofs
Flooftoral
Flooftoral (floofinition) – Of, or relating to land, area, or space around animals.
In use: “The bedroom master bed was bathed in sunshine each morning, becoming the flooftoral post-feeding napping zone.”
A Floof Toast
Here’s to the players
The goofs
Zoomin’ through the rooms
The ones in a tug of war
Stalking others
And evening the score
Here’s to the eaters
The watchers
The ones who sleep and snore
The ones who entertain us daily
Slayin’ life’s dull bore
Here’s to the chubby ones
The chow hounds
The ones who always want a treat
The tall ones
The little ones
Still growing to their feet
Here’s to those with stubby legs
Wagging tails
Swishing tails
And tails that they chase
Here’s to the ones who smile at us
Nibble toes
Bite our nose
And take a tongue to our face
New Technology
I just read of a new technology that I could actually use. The latest activity trackers, like Fitbit, have a new optional app called Closer. It works like this. If you and your spouse or partner, or whomever, have activity trackers with Closer on it, the systems can be bonded. Closer can then be activated by cycling through apps, then pressing on it when it’s on your device face.
What’s it do? Well, the bonded devices will show an arrow to where the other is located. The closer the two devices are, the larger and greener the arrow will become. If you’re moving away from them, the arrow turns red and small.
Ad campaigns tout several uses. One, if you’re in a store like Costco or a mall and don’t know where the other person is, just call up Closer and follow the arrow. Two, you can find the other’s device if they’ve misplaced it.
Pretty neat, huh? I know it’s a lot like the apps and trackers used to find keys and phones, but I just made all of that up. Closer doesn’t exist, as far as I know. Consider this an early April Fool’s Day entry.
Cheers
Floofboree
Floofboree (floofinition) – A large, festive gathering of animals.
In use: “After midnight, the housefloofs went outside and hosted a floofboree in the backyard, inviting the local skunks and squirrels, raccoons and bears, mice and rats, along with the other cats and dogs. It was a swell time until the skunks got overly excited and sprayed everyone.”
Michael Seidel, writer 