Agitfloof
Agitfloof (floofinition) 1. An animal who displays irritating habits or behavior, or makes sounds which others find annoying.
In use: “The three new puppies were adorable, but the boy — who became known as Mephistopheles — was an agitfloof with huge energy bands, galloping and attacking when the others were sleeping, curious about everything going on, and generally getting into the middle of all activities, invited or not.”
2. Play objects or behavior designed to spur animal’s physical activity and thinking.
In use: “The mousebot — Phelps’ nickname for the toy — was agitfloof that sent a mechanized furry gray mouse racing out of its little gray plastic hill, leading the kittens on a chase for five minutes before ducking back into its plastic hidey hole to dock and recharge.”
Floofgom
Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.
In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”
Friday’s Wandering Thoughts
He watched a series called “Quarterbacks” on Netflix. It focused on three NFL quarterbacks. One of them is Patrick Mahomes of Kansas City. After a big play that clinched a game for his team, Mahomes ran around the field, jumping and shouting, “That’s what I fucking do. That’s what I fucking do. That’s what I fucking do.”
He admired the man’s enthusiasm, energy, and celebration. Maybe after finishing a chapter in the novel in progress, he should celebrate in the same way, leaping up and running around the coffee shop shouting, “That’s what I fucking do. That’s what I fucking do. That’s what I fucking do.”
Probably wouldn’t go over too well, he decided. Disrupt the ambiance too much. Best to just continue celebrating successes with private exultation.
Arifloofacy
Arifloofacy (floofinition) – Governing or ruling by a small set of animals.
In use: “The novel by George Orwell, Animal Farm, is about an arifloofacy and the changes it brings to the farm’s dynamics, but anyone with pets have probably experienced an arifloofacy in action, or had to deal with it, for example, fending off the arifloofacy while eating.”
Flooming
Flooming (floofinition) – Animal’s washing of a human to show their pleasure.
In use: “Whenever Jade began flooming Carrie, she began with Carrie’s hair. Always interested in being part of whatever was going on, Honey the Beagle would join the flooming, eagerly washing Carrie’s face as Jade started on her arms.”
Felix Floofa
Felix Floofa (floofinition) Originally an expression to convey a ‘lucky animal’, the meaning has changed to reference an animal who brings luck to others.
In use: “Surviving COVID but losing her job, on the verge of homelessness, Sylvia found herself feeling hopeless, but then a little mutt of a brown dog was found at the animal shelter. Despite all logic, she adopted the fellow. It seemed like he was a felix floofa, for she was suddenly offered a job which was a promotion, paying better, and the landlord abruptly grew benevolent, forgiving her the back rent owed and reducing her rent. Naturally, she named the dog Felix.”
Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts
He encountered someone driving out of the in exit. Third day in a row this had happened. Not the same people or car, but…
They had to be given some latitude and space to let them finish driving out, annoying him, because it was his nature to get annoyed by others. He wondered how they’d managed to miss seeing the one way signs and arrows, along with the DO-NOT-ENTER sign. Surely, they hadn’t ‘missed’ them, but had decided to ignore them. Three drivers, three days in a row.
Such a small matter but it was the kind of thing that fed his growing disenchantment with society.
Michael Seidel, writer 