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Mockfloof (floofinition) – Animal or human pretending to be an animal or another species.
In use: “Many people and their pets enjoy it when the humans become mockfloofs, getting down on all fours to meow, growl, or bark, pretending to lick or bite their pet, sniffing them as the animals often do the people, and even ‘wagging their tails’.”
Floof-in (floofinition) – 1. Form of direct action employed by animals to keep people from doing things.
In use: “Max’s usual floof-in was to grab Mandy by the leg and howl and whimper when she started walking toward the door to leave, a tactic which often won a little more time for him while lathering the guilt over her.”
2. To relax by not doing anything but staying motionless with one or more pets.
In use: “During the pandemic, Dee started doing a floof-in more and more frequently, settling on the sofa with a couple books, a pot of tea, some cookies, and her dog and cat on either side.”
Floofdiced (floofinition) – State or attitude characterized by care and concern about animals and their well being.
In use: “Many people owned by pets become floofdiced, planning functions, trips, needs, and wants around their pet friends’ requirements.”
Floofmatic (floofinition) – An immediate response to an animal’s demand.
In use: “Many animals train their people to be floofmatic, i.e. teaching their humans to get up and let them in (or out), feed them, play with them, or provide them treats, upon demand. The trick, animals say, is to use persistence and cuteness, and when necessary, make people feel guilty for not responding.”
Floofnectivity (floofinition) – The ways in which a person or animal is emotionally attached to person, another animal, or object.
In use: “Judy adopted the puppy as an orphaned puppy after it was fostered by another, and the floofnectivity between the pit bull and her toddler was immediate as they happily napped, played, and matured together.”
Floofbotic (floofinition) – 1. Related to or associated with mechanical behavior exhibited by an animal.
In use: “With floofbotic nonchalance, the cat jumped on the bed, walked up Adele’s body, sat down on her chest, and began tapping Adele’s nose.”
2. Human behavior conducted with characteristics associated with robots.
In use: “Mumbling and sighing, Adele fumbled out of bed, staggered down the hall, opened a can of food and fed the cat in floofbotic fashion.”
Floofbatical (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s break or change from a normal routine.
In use: “After raising her own litter, then a litter of orphaned kittens, then an orphaned puppy, Mamacita felt she deserved a floofbatical.”
2. A human’s break from taking care of, attending, or being with animals.
In use: “Both beloved dogs died of cancer in the space of three months, each after a short fight against the cancer’s growth. Izzy decided to take a floofbatical before bringing another pet into her life. Of course, she’d overlooked floofma, which delivered a new rescue into her life after just three days.”
Floofidiot (floofinition) – 1. A stupid or foolish animal.
In use: “Many are quick to label animals as a floofidiot when they’re really determined and fearless, like the kitten boldly scaling the curtains, because they’re there, but then can’t get back down.”
2. A person who goes ga-ga over animals.
In use: “Others started calling her a floofidiot behind her back because she was always donating food and supplies to animal shelters, sharing photos, videos, and stories on social media, and pampered seven pets of her own in her small ranch house.”
Floof Offering (floofinition) – 1. An item or food presented to an animal to win their affection, gain their trust, demonstrate their love, or mollify their anxiety.
In use: “People often use pet treats as floof offerings just because it seems to make their pets so damn happy.”
2. A gift or item brought to people by an animal for reasons only clear to the animals, but most likely to win their affection, gain their trust, or demonstrate their love.
In use: “Each day when they went walking, her dog immediately went off to find a stick and bring it to her. Sometimes the floof offering was a log or branch, and other times the floof offering was a twig, but the dog was always pleased to give it to her.”
Floofventory (floofinition) – An animal’s wary assessment of a situation.
In use: “Sitting down, the stray dog conducted a floofventory of the person calling him and the outstretched hand offering food, and then carefully approached and accepted the meal.”
Michael Seidel, writer 