Tag: human behavior

Gesfloofilate

Gesfloofilate (floofinition) – 1. Using non-verbal language to emphasize commands or orders given to animals. Origins: circa 1809, Flooftin roots, gesfloofulatus.

In Use: “Finding the cat on the kitchen counter preparing to take some cooling bacon, Cory shouted “No, Trouble, get down,” and gesfloofilated by snapping her fingers and stamping a foot.”

2. Non-verbal motions animals employ to ask favor or help from humans.

In Use: “Stopping by Josh’s desk, Suggs gesfloofilated for attention with a wagging tail and raised ears and paw.”

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Telephloofny

Telephloofny (floofinition) – A person who speaks to animals in conversation as if they’re having a phone conversation with them. Origins: Oregon, United States, 2024.

In Use: ‘Taylor didn’t now when she became telephloofny — was it because of her mother — maybe — but as she went through the house, dressing, eating, cleaning, she spoke with her cats, dog, birds, and fish, telling them her plans, rejoicing over a change of the weather for the better (“Sunshine and blue skies, and look at you all, already in position to enjoy it”), finishing by asking each, “Do you have any special plans for the day? Digging up a plant? Just floozing?”‘

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Saturday’s Wandering Thoughts

Most people learn that the same response doesn’t fit every situation and adjust their behavior and responses to reflect the moment. Some, however, never seem to learn, insisting on using the same strident notes, no matter what’s happening. Even as that fails, their only response is to lean harder on that one mode, as though it’ll miraculously work, never seeing how they’re only worsening matters, even though people avoid them or walk away.

They end up alone, shouting at themselves.

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Subfloofidant

Subfloofidant (floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.

In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”

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Calcifloofcation

Calcifloofcation (floofinition) – State of stiffness in people caused by lack of movement incurred when they do not want to disturb an animal.

In use: “He could feel calcifloofcation settling into his body, was growing hungry to the point where he was ready to declare he was starving (especially because he knew one piece of pumpkin remained in the kitchen), and his bladder felt on the verge of bursting, but a cat slept on his chest and a dog snored on his legs, and he didn’t want to disturb them, so he endured.”

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Interfloofent

Interfloofent (floofinition) – Things sporadically or erratically done between and around taking care of animals, or pampering animals.

In use: “There were always things to do but things became more interfloofent because being with his dog, a rescue — walking with him, talking with him, napping with him, etc., because the dog seemed to care about him and understand — became the most important and enjoyable part of his life.”

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Defloofciation

Defloofciation (floofinition) – 1. The loss of love and caring for an animal, such as a family pet.

In use: “Pets often suffer from defloofciation, becoming abandoned as families move away, leaving them behind, a situation that often angers, sickens, and disgusts true animal lovers.”

2. The reduction of animals in a home.

In use: “Once she had several cats and two dogs, but her declining health soon forced defloofciation, and now she had many pictures of former pets, and just one who lived with her.”

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Floofthartic

Floofthartic (floofinition) – Of, or relating to, the purification or purgation of the emotions (such as sadness and loneliness) primarily by animals.

In use: “After dealing with her finances and the stresses of being unemployed, and coping with the news of the pandemic, she found sipping a glass of wine with her dog (Chef Eddy) beside her on the sofa on her cat (Loki) on her lap a needed, floofthartic experience.

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Floofcocious

Floofcocious (floofinition) – 1. An animal who exhibits mature qualities at an unusually early age.

In use: “The floofcocious young puppy approached the elderly dog with surprising reserve and respect, carefully stepping around them, letting them sleep.”

2. A person who understands and empathizes with animals at a very young age.”

In use: “The child was floofcocious, bottle-feeding orphaned kittens and puppies animals by the time she was four years old, sitting and comforting old dogs and cats at animal shelters when she was five, reading them stories every day.”

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