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Floofbular (floofinition) – Floofdarin slang term, adopted from the eighties slang term, ‘tubular’, used among animals to express high regard or appreciation for something.
In use: “The cats thought getting tuna was fantastic. “Floofbular,” one told the other, which, to the unschooled in Floofdarin, sounded like a rising and falling trilling-mewing-purr.”
Floofnorant (floofinition) – People who are oblivious of animals and animal behavior, except for the barest awareness that animals exist.
In use: “Many of the floofnorant sniff and make disdainful noises that animals are dumb, don’t have emotions, and don’t feel pain. People who live with animals have a much different view.”
Cancflooflation (floofinition) – An event, plan, action, or activity that is stopped due to an animal.
In use: “They’d planned to clean the house but a cancflooflation was made because the cat and dog were sleeping together in a long patch of sunshine and looked so darn cute.”
Floofchief (floofinition) – 1. Playful misbehavior or troublemaking by an animal, especially in a pet.
In use: “The big dog and little cat were full of floofchief, chasing and ambushing one another, but also chasing the children, and letting the children chase them.”
2. Cloth used to clean off an animal.
In use: “Sebastian was known to slobber and drool — he was a big old dog — so it wasn’t surprising that Sid carried a floofchief around to tend Sebastian whenever necessary.”
Vifloofperation (floofinition) – Ann animal’s sustained and bitter railing, especially about imagined slights.
In use: “They had to close the puppy in a room because of a party, and the little canine immediately set up an unholy vifloofperation, clawing at the door, barking, whining, and howling.”
Floof Bush (floofinition) – A plant where an animal likes to sleep or sit. Note: not to be confused with floofbush.
In use: “The middle poplar (of three) was the backyard floof bush, a space on a little hillock where the yard could be surveyed, sunshine swept in past leaves, and breezes kept whatever creature residing there from getting too hot.”
Horofloof (floofinition) – Animal’s sense of time, ability to maintain a schedule, and their associated method of tracking time.
In use: “Humans are often amazed by their pet’s horofloof, especially when dogs go to the door to greet their returning people. Scientists speculate that this might be because dogs note that their people’s smell has faded. Animals, however, know that as an amusing theory; their minds are attuned to the cosmic view that lets them see beyond the immediate moment.”
Prefloofpitation (floofinition) – Moisture thrown off by an animal.
In use: “Coming in from outside with a snow covered back, the dog shook, filling the room with prefloofpitation.”
Door Floof (floofinition) – Animal obsessed with doors.
In use: “Tucker could not stand a closed door. Pantry, front, closet, the door floof liked to stand beside whatever closed door he encountered and demand the door be opened for him to look within. What humans didn’t understand was that he was checking for invaders from other dimensions. He didn’t want to do it, but it was his duty.”
Libflooftarian (floofinition) 1. Animal who enjoys minimum supervision, rules, or intervention by others.
In use: “Many cats are natural libflooftarians, eschewing assistance and ignoring rules, going wherever they want, doing whatever they wish.”
2. Movement which upholds maximum freedom for animals.
In use: “Libflooftarians stand against caged chickens, pigs, and cows, applauding such laws Proposition 12 passed in California in 2018, which requires animals be given enough space to stand and turn around, as a first decent step.”
Michael Seidel, writer 