Whether Floof
Whether Floof (floofinition) – An indecisive animal.
In use: “Many people find their pets are whether floofs when inclement weather strikes, as the pets ask to go out, then see the bad weather, return back in, and then try another door, going back and forth, trying openings, wanting to be out, wanting to stay in. Some people even say that their whether floof is a weather floof.”
Flooftirement
Flooftirement (floofinition) – 1. Withdrawing from activities, work, or social commitments to spend time with animals.
In use: “After more wearying, depressing news, he went into flooftirement with his cat, dog, and a book, figuring the world could go on without him but he couldn’t go on without them.”
2. An animal’s withdrawl or change of status from a working position or occupation.
In use: “He’d been a working dog, a service dog which gave his person needed emotional support, and when she passed on, he gratefully accepted flooftirement to a quiet home.”
Subfloofidant
Subfloofidant (floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.
In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”
BFT
BFT (floofinition) – Floof shorthand for ‘Begging for treats’.
In use: “Tucker told Papi, ‘Stand back, kid, and watch a master BFT.’ Settling before his human, Tucker began with the big eyes, then magnified it into an intense gaze. As his human continued ignoring him, Tucker added a loud, Merow,’ and tacked on a purr like an idling diesel engine.”
Polyfloofmy
Polyfloofmy (floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Slinky Floofy
Slinky Floofy (floofinition) – A common exercise routine used by my animals, which calls for the animal to stretch its limbs while lowering itself to the ground. In its most basic configuration, the animal stretches either the rear or front limbs first, followed by the other end, will lowering their body as far as possible.
In use: “Quinn was a master of the slinky floofy, almost flattening his chest to the ground as he splayed his paws and stretched his front legs, and then leaning forward, lowering his rear as he extended his rear rear legs to their maximum.”
FloofFlock
FloofFlock (floofinition) – Video-focused social floofworking service which that provides short formats produced by animals for animals.
In use: “Many animal videos on FloofFlock center around pranks that pets play on their humans, such as hiding items like car keys, prescription glasses, and phones, or stealing socks from the laundry.”
Floofcaster
Floofcaster (floofinition) – 1. A person who predicts what an animal will do.
In use: “From years of observation, Jeff had become an adept floofcaster regarding the backyard interactions between the neighbor’s cat, the squirrel, the jays, crows, and his dog, Pixie.”
2. An animal who makes predictions.
In use: “Whether by hearing or some psychic abilities, Merlin the Cat always not just knew someone was coming, but the floofcaster showed by behavior who was coming, bolting to hide if it was a stranger (or Meg, who he couldn’t stand for reasons he never gave), and rushing to the door to greet friends, family, and those deemed worthy of is affection.”
Michael Seidel, writer 