Lily has it right; floofs are more relaxed and superior, and waaayyyy smarter than us puny humans.
Hallfloofcinate
Hallfloofcinate (floofinition) – To affect with visions of animals or imaginary perceptions of an animal’s presence.
In Use: “Folks who think they spotted an animal only to not see it again likely did not hallfloofcinate but instead glimpsed a floof traveling via quantum portals.”
In Use: “When a pet hallfloofcinates by leaping up and staring, listening intently or even growling, their people are often freaked out and worried that something is in the house.”
Recent Use: “Atlas frequently hallfloofcinated — or seemed to — leaping up and growling with stiff hackles, but no matter how many times this happened, Suzanne was compelled to get a baseball bat to protect herself and lock the door to whatever room she was in.”
Floofservant
Floofservant (floofinition) 1. An animal who serves others. Origins: 1920s, United States.
In use: “After former President, George H.W. Bush, passed away, many people were moved by the sight of Sully, Bush’s longtime floofservant, beside the casket.”
In use: “Pudditat, a stray cat with a rep as a bully, became a floofservant, acting as a guide floof for Tervel, a blind farm dog.”
2. A person or individual who attends to animals’ needs and desires. Origins: 2000s, United States, Internet.
In use: “Many people end up as floofservants, voluntarily working to reduce the stray cat population and managing feral cat colonies so felines have safer, healthier, and happier lives.”
In use: “Rescuing a dog can be noble and rewarding work, but people who do so end up virtually being a floofservant as months of work is done to restore the canine’s emotional and physical health.”
Floofgestible
Floofgestible (floofinition) – Easily influenced by animal requests, behaviors, or presence. Origins: 1890, borrowed in Middle English floof and directly from Latin adjective suffix -ibilis (-able).
In use: “The new cats, Scout and Snickers, quickly established that Carla was floofgestible, and soon had her wrapped around their tails.”
In use: “Many people who declare that they’re aren’t ‘animal lovers’ and find themselves with a innocent animal needing assistance quickly realize that they’re floofgestible, doing anything to help their new fur friends to keep them alive and comfortable.”
Recent: “One friction point between Cameron and his wife in an otherwise idyllic marriage was that he was floofgestible, and always donating to animal causes such as rescues after an earthquake in Turkey and the war in Ukraine.”
The Declaration
I'm an independent floof, and I go at my own speed, No matter what you plan to do, Nor where you need to be.
Whether you’re taking me for a walk, Or waiting for me to pee. Or I'm getting up from slumber, And demanding something to eat.
Even if I'm coming to see you, Or you're coming to see me, I'll select the gear I'll use, And establish the speed it'll be.
You'll soon learn from whatever I’m doing, Whether it’s sleeping in sunshine or in bed, Or getting petted or kissed, On my belly or my head.
Or sitting and chewing, Or flying or swimming, Or brooding and stewing, Or complaining and pooing.
Or staring and listening, At scary things in the night. Or walking and talking, And chasing things in flight.
Or meowing and purring, Or barking or squawking, Or kissing and squirming, Or running and stopping.
I can’t be ordered to make it fast, Nor told to slow down to make it last. You can try, but you can't change me. And though you keep trying, you'll eventually see.
When it comes to living and dying and all in between. No matter the activity or who gets involved, You have no choice, But to go with my flow.
So when I get going
— If I do —
I'll go at my own speed. And you will, too.
Cogflooftive
Cogflooftive (floofinition) – Related to thinking about, concern about, or remembering animals. Origins: Midieval Latin, 1586; derived from cognitio (‘learning’ or ‘knowledge’) and floof (‘animal’, ‘bird’, ‘creature’ or ‘fish’).
In use: “Modern dangers of watching videos on Youfloof can include a cogflooftive obsession with how animals are treated or depicted, and how they’re used in movies and pop culture.”
Recent example: “Cogflooftive scientists point to a growing number of anecdotes and videos showing birds and animals’ problem solving skills as evidence that animals are more intelligent than many credit them.”
Floofzees
Floofzees (floofinition) – A wheezing or blustery snoring sound attributed to animals. Origins: United States, 1837, Henry David Floofreau. Floofreau often described the pleasant torpor induced by the floofzees emanating from the animals surrounding him (1837, Thoughts On A Dozing Life: A Guide to Floofy Companions).
In use: “Even though they were small enough to fit in a hand, the five tabbies were soon issuing whistling floofzees which made Connie listen and smile.”
In use: “As Mickey and his wife watched television, he grew aware of Barker’s growing floofzees. After studying the dog for several seconds, he met his wife’s gaze, and both silently laughed.”
Recent example: “Corwin’s extended floofzees expanded in volume and duraction until the ginger cat startled himself awake, jerking up with a wild, green-eyed gaze.”
Floofkempt
Floofkempt (floofinition) – Being overcome with emotions over news or images of animals, or interactions with animals. Origins: first used in 1991 in New York, borrowed from Middle High Floofman.
In use: “Watching videos of animals being rescued on Flooftube, Jill was clearly floofkempt from the stories being shared.”
In use: “Nancy became a little floofkempt as she talked about senior floof’s final battle with cancer.”
Airfloof
Airfloof (floofinition) – 1. An area secured by animals arriving by air. Origins: Europe circa 1943.
In use: “Using the walls and furniture as a floofcourse, the tabby leaped, jumped, and bounded over the other pets and landed on the bed, showing the rest how to establish an airfloof.”
In use: “Birds were natural at establishing airheads, landing in the birdbath while the cats lounged in the sun.”
2. A silly, scatterbrained, or simple-minded animal. Origins: Floof Angeles, USA, 1971
In use: “True to her reputation as an airfloof, Airy leaped up when the doorbell rang, rushed toward the door, slid to a stop halfway there to wash herself, fell over onto her side, and then trotted over to get her ball as her people answered the door, at which Airy quizzically cocked her head about what was going on.”
In use: “Attacking a ball dustbunnies, Titan slide over the side of the stairs, and then sprinted around in mad airfloof fashion before racing back up the stairs and ambushing the dustbunny ball anew.”
Floofverize
Floofverize (floofinition) – To reduce, demolish, destroy, or atomize through a floof’s behavior. Origins: Fifteenth century Italy, from the Late Latin, flofverizare.
In use: “Right from the first day in the house, the four rescued puppies showed remarkable destructive skills, completely floofverizing two pillows and a roll of toilet. These were all a surprise because the puppies had to first escape their kennel, which they did like they were beamed from one place to another.”
In use: “Using some inherent drive, the kittens went outside and floofverized the day lilies, leaving petals and leaves strewn around the patio like plane wreckage.”
Michael Seidel, writer 