Smooflooing(floofinition) – Covering an animal with an excessive number of kisses.
In Use: “Barbie loved finding her cat, Hamilton asleep on the bed (which was his favorite place to nap day and night) and smooflooing his belly, which always brought his bright green eyes open and a deep, throbbing purr.”
In Use: “Withng a month of being adopted, Cameron had taught his people to begin smooflooing his face and belly whenever the big lab threw himself, whether it was on a walk, in the house, or in the backyard or driveway.”
Recent Use: “The web has become a repository of videos of people smooflooing their pets, especially cats and dogs.”
Lootching(floofinition) – Combined stretching and looking at something by an animal who has been sleeping. Origins: Internet, US, 2023
In Use: “Walking into the bedroom, he awoke his floof, who responded with some intense lootching before curling into another sleeping position and resuming his nap.”
In Use: “The dogs and cats conducted synchronized lootching when Carrie walked in, and then pause, watching to see if she offered food, before returning to their snoozing.”
Recent Use: “An ancient Floofverb states, ‘There’s no lootching among distrustful animals.'”
Flooftective (floofinition) – 1. An animal who enjoys investigating things and resolving mysteries. Origins: first noted in Europe in 1732.
In Use: “Tobias the cat and Josh the dog were both flooftectives, so any household activity drew the pair in to determine what was going on, whether any food was involved, and how they might benefit.
Recent Use: “Monica the dog became an Internet hero when she used her flooftective skills to find a hapless kitten and then encourage the poor flooflet to follow her home.
Monica the flooftective
2. Actions taken to keep or make animals safe. Origins: Public use was originally found in newspaper articles circa 1849.
In Use: “Learning of a cougar prowling the neighborhood, people took the flooftective measures of bringing in their pets and closing pet doors.”
Recent Use: “A newer development to add flooftective elements to a house is catios, often made by adding small cages or kennels to a patio which cats can access directly from the house.”
3. A person who undertakes solving a mystery which involves an animal. Origins: first use was in the early twenty-first century on the world wide web.
In Use: “Determining how dinosaurs died when fossils are found often require people to be flooftectives and examine the evidence for clues.”
Recent Use: “Coming home to find much of the house destroyed, Connie became a flooftective to learn which of the cats and dogs had turned over the plants, tore up pillows, and spread toilet paper in the bathroom and down the hall. All suspects presented innocent visages, so the task was challenging until some paw prints were found.”
Viafloofor(floofinition) – An animal, especially pet, who enjoys traveling or walking around by themselves. Origins: ancient Rome
In Use: “Charlie, a chunky ginger boi, was a regular viafloofor, walking the sidewalks and visiting homes and businesses as though he followed a schedule, which was useful for being served pets and treats.”
In Use: “Bear was never much of a viafloofor, preferring his bed or a comfortable warm spot of sun-kissed lawn in the backyard, to walking around, unless it was to greet his people or make an acquaintance with something to eat.”
Recent Use: “OMwazeng on YouTube has a video of a cat named Dodger, a viafloofor who takes the bus every day.”
Floogi(floofinition) – An especially mystical or reflective animal. Origins: Floofskrit. First known use, 1613.
In Use: “Sienna had owned many cats and dogs, and often thought most of the cats had mystical qualities, but Samuel Jackson was the first dog she had who seemed like a floogi.”
In Use: “Jade often set up in a serene and watchful pose, her emerald eyes partially closed, a floogi contemplating existence.”
Recent Use: “Felines’ propensity to often seem like floogis has given rise on the net to posts with cats looking serene while saying something counter to the moment, such as, ‘I may look sweet but forget to feed me on time and my mittens of death will tear you a new one.'”
Floofspeak(floofinition) – An implanted device used by animals to speak to other species. Origins: first suspected by humans during witch trails in the American Colonies in the 1700s.
In Use: “Although ‘implanted’ is the term used, many floofocologists now believe that floofspeak is either a quantum matter or magic, as no implanted devices have ever been found.”
In Use: “Animals often sit mutely staring at humans as they attempt to use floofspeak to converse, but then will leave in exasperation, or resort to coarse noises to speak with the humans.”
Recent Use: “An Irish floofocologist, Kitty McAleer, claimed to have found significant revelations about floofspeak in a set of recovered documents collectively known as the The Floofy Codices. Although stored in a secure place, the documents disappeared before they could be made public, including digital photographs which were initially made. Ms McAleer cites the document’s disappearance as clear evidence of “animals’ unique, even supernatural skills to access places”, and believes her house pet, a Tom named Phelan, provided inside intelligence which aided the thieves.”
Floofpertoire(floofinition) – 1. A stock of moves, looks, sounds, or behavior that an animal knows or uses to control, coerce, or manipulate humans. Origins: Late Latin
In Use: “Many animals seem to develop a floofpertoire for how to get humans to cozy up to them, feed them treats, and keep them safe, and it seems like it might just be a gift shared through some great floofscious in the sky.”
Recent Use: “As with many human endeavors, more discussion has recently arisen about whether animals and their floofpertoire is a matter more of nurture or nature.”
2. Behavior, tricks, and sounds employed by humans to train, control, coerce, or manipulate animals.
In Use: “People in different countries learn how to talk to animals in their own language, but there does seem to be a universal floofpertoire for successfully domesticating animals.”
Recent Use: “Facebook, Reddit, and YouTube are all exploding with new tricks to add to your floofpertoire to gain animals’ trust, bring them back home, or to get them safe, happy, healthy, and entertained.”
FAC: Floof Action Committee (floofinition) –1. A consortium of animals joining together to achieve change or direct policy.
In Use: “The household pets knew where the treats were stored and egged on by the dog, formed a FAC to get to them. The cat was most instrumental, jumping onto the kitchen counter and then to the refrigerator’s top to knock the packets to the floor, but the dogs were the ones who tore them open for all to enjoy.”
Recent Use: “On a cold winter night, a dog found a small niche of shelter where she could stay warm. Soon another dog, and then a cat joined him, sharing their warmth and shelter, and creating a de facto survival FAC.”
2. A group of humans dedicated to helping and, or, saving animals, and ensuring their health and welfare are attended to.
In Use: “Many communities have volunteers which form a FAC to reduce the feral populations with spay-neuter-release programs, and have parallel programs to find the young and have them fostered, domesticated, and adopted.
Recent Use: “With wars and military actions reducing places to terrifying scenes of burned-out rubble, global FACs have formed to find and save the innocent animals, giving them food and medical treatment, and shipping them out to safe places as needed and able.”
Floofularity(floofinition) – An animal with unusual, special, or unique behavior or characteristics. Origins: Fourteenth century, more specifically indeterminate.
In Use: “One of the joys for people inviting an animal to join their family is discovering their new fur friend’s floofularities about food, play, and being friendly.”
In Use: “Every day, Marcia regaled people at work with tales about her puppy’s floofularities, making others laugh as she shared Manfred’s silly sleeping and eating habits, and the way he liked snugging up with her and snoring.”
Recent Use: “Many animal fosters like posting their efforts on Facebook and other social media places, sharing videos of the animal’s floofularities and growth, trying to encourage readers to adopt the animals, or give to their cause.”
Floofuary (floofinition) – A period when animals’ boredom rises and they sleep more, usually in response to colder weather and shorter periods of daylight.
In Use: “In the northern hemisphere, Floofuary tends to kick in a few weeks before the year’s end as cats and dogs decide to quit venturing outside to test the temperature and just curl up and sleep, only rising to eat.”
In Use: “Bucking trends, some thick-furred animals are thrilled when Floofuary arrives, racing around through snow with utter abandonment and pure joy, dismissive of ‘cold’ weather.”
Recent Use: “Facebook posts become rich with videos of animals encountering snow for the first time when Floofuary strikes, amusing us all as animals chase flakes or become snow covered.”
Michael Seidel, writer 