Kama Flooftra
Kama Flooftra (floofinition) Ancient book composed by animals displaying positions used to scratch, pet cats, and sleep. Many animals study the kama flooftra in pursuit of living better. Origins: First noted in Mesopatamia in 600 BCE.
In Use: “Dixie was forever surprising her people with the positions they found her but they were unaware that she was a fervent fan of the Kama Flooftra, being totally unaware the book even existed!”
Floofness
Floofness (floofinition) – 1. The quality of being the epitomy of whatever species of animal is being represented. Origins: mid-17th century in France.
In Use: “Despite being a young female cat, Philo developed the floofness of a large dog, say a Pyrenean Mountain Dog, boldly confronting and chasing off any animal not part of the official household, unless it was another cat; other cats were welcomed and accepted as long as they behaved.”
2. Used as a title or address for an exalted animal or an animal held in high esteem. Origins: 12th century, France.
In Use: “Bella, the neighbor’s little Corgi, was always referred to as ‘Her Royal Floofness’ and carried herself as worthy of the title.”
Complefloofrianism
Complefloofrianism (floofinition) – Floofological view that animals have equal but different roles from humans in life. Origins: First used by The International Order of Floofs (TIOF) in 1988.
In Use: “As practitioners of complefloofrianism, Beth’s pets ignored her orders as they’d gotten together and elected one of their own, Beanie, as the house’s ruler, and limited Beth’s roles to cleaning and feeding duties.”
Flooeismic
Flooeismic (floofinition) – Activities or events involving animals which have a widespread or significant impact. Origins: 1858, Greece
In Use: “When Coltrane and Etta finally made peace and slept together, it had a flooeismic impact on the household dynamics.”
In Use: “OR-7‘s journey as a gray wolf trekking through Oregon and into California had a flooeismic impact on popular culture at the time.”
Xenofloobia
Xenofloobia (floofinition) – A condition where an animal’s hatred or intense dislike about other animals causes them to behave aggressively. Origins: New Floofin, early 19th century. Related: Xenofloofic
In Use: “Many people owned by floofs with non-compete clauses to their living situation exhibit xenofloofbia, growling or issuing angry indignation at the trespasser through the window whenever any other creature enters their domain in any capacity.”
In Use: “Karen didn’t know the extent of her cat’s xenofloobia until the little critter met another cat at the door and launched a yowling charge.”
Floofumnavigate
Floofumnavigate (floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s
In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”
In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”
2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.
In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”
In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”
Floofsize
Floofsize (floofinition) – To have something upended or knocked over by an animal. Origins: late 1890s, first noted in Mississippi.
In Use: “Karol the Terrorcat walked along the dresser, leaving floofsized bottles and items on the floor in her wake.”
In Use: “Galumpfh, originally named Wilson by the family’s youngest member, often floofsized furniture when he galloped through the house, shaking the floor with his floofnormous thunderpaws.”
Floofraiser
Floofraiser (floofinition) – Actions, sounds, or activities which will draw an animal’s attention or make them move. Origins: Mid 1960s, modern Floofish, first reported use in western Pennsylvania.
In Use: “Many people quickly find that cans opening or a kibble rattle are sure floofraisers, with animals galloping to the source as soon as they hear the sound.”
In Use: “The vacuum cleaner was a floofraiser for Barney, causing the big dog to hustle to another room floof haste, but Stormy merely yawned and dared the roaring machine to come closer to her.”
Michael Seidel, writer 