Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofeyes (floofinition) – A sad, pleading look housepets employ to manipulate people.
In use: “No treats was the rule, but Titus would turn his floofeyes on her. Sighing, she’d say, “Okay, but just one,” but with those floofeyes, he always got three.”
Stimflooflus (floofinition) – 1. Something done by a pet or animal that rouses or incites to activity, such as howls, growls, yowls, meows, and barks, or running. 2. Activity, sound, or command that rouses or incites an animal’s actions.
In use: “A howl was followed by frantic barking, stimflooflus to her getting out of bed, because Lennon was warning her, someone is coming to the door.”
Floof Message (floofinition) – texts or emails whose subject center around housepets.
In use: “When she was away, her Mom would line up Cricket and Ellie, take a photo of them, and floof message her daughter the photo with a humorous caption, usually about the dogs wanting Rachel’s return so they could be properly fed.”
Telefloofic (floofinition) – a pet with an appearance and manner that are markedly attractive to television viewers.
In use: “Tardar Sauce, nicknamed Grumpy Cat, was a telefloofic animal who always seemed to be disapproving of the world.”
Floofup (alternative spelling: floof-up) (floofinition) – 1. A mistake or error made by a housepet. 2. A human error or mistake caused by a housepet’s activity.
In use: “She swung the front door closed and hurried away, eager to open her package. In an instant, she realized that she didn’t hear a click from the door. As she turned back, the dog shouldered the door open and darted out. Shouting his name, she took off after him even as the floofup’s magnitude began growing in her mind.”
Floofworld (floofinition) – a secret, non-profit vacation resort where people can interact with animals. Entrance to Floofworld is by invitation only, but people must log on and ask for an invitation, a strategy to protect Floofworld and its occupants.
In use: “Thomas took a deep breath, let it out, and sat back. After a decade of arcane research, he’d found the URL for Floofworld. Rumors always circulated that at least a pair of every animal that’d ever lived still existed in Floofworld, and that it wasn’t located on Earth. Grinning, Thomas clicked on the button to create an account.”
Floofhenge (floofinition) – Prehistoric monument visible only to those with quantum eyesight, floofhenge represents a period when animals ruled the Earth in harmony. The peace ended when humans were permitted to come to Earth from their world via an entrance at floofhenge. Many floofologists theorize that the animals brought humans here to save them because they were destroying their own world. Others say the humans slipped through as the animals paused at the open door to think about which way they wanted to go. (Some blame the cats.) A human artifice called Stonehenge was built in an attempt to create the same quantum doorway, but humans lack animals’ quantum knowledge, and the effort failed.
In use: “With the eagle flying overhead, and a wolf and lion on either side of her, a cat, dog, and fox led her between two trees into a glade where tall stones were lit like blue stars. The dog turned to her and said, “This is floofhenge.””
Floofviance (floofinition) – 1. Changing routines to accommodate a pet’s behavior, presence, or condition. 2. A pet’s action or behavior that violates the household rules.
In use: “Tail wagging, Samwise rounded the corner and trotted toward Becky. Leaping up without a sound, Pearljam swatted Samwise’s nose. As the beagle yelped and darted back, Becky grabbed the squirt gun and prepared to address Pearljam’s floofviance.”
Michael Seidel, writer 