Floofstory

Floofstory (floofinition) – 1. The study of past animal events, particularly in housepet affairs. 2. The complete series of events connected with a specific pet or animal.

In use: “The black cat’s floofstory was brief: he’d showed up at their house wounded and hungry, so they’d gotten him help. Meanwhile, nobody showed him as missing, so he came to be their pet though floofmentum.

Floofmentum

Floofmentum (floofinition) – The impetus gained by an animal, especially a housepet, particularly when addressing how the animal joined a household or won someone over.

In use: “The giant parrot had to have once belonged to someone, but it’d landed in the yard and then invited itself into the house, and then, through floofmentum, came to be Lily’s best friend and constant companion.”

Double Floofex

Double Floofex (also called dooflex in net slang) (floofinition) – Time and place where two animals are laying together, often with paws and tails wrapped around one another.

In use: “The ginger cat and Golden Retriever often napped as a double floofex on the sofa.”

Floofbreak

Floofbreak (floofinition) – 1. Taking a holiday or vacation away from animals, especially household pets. 2. A pet or animal’s escape from a place or situation.

In use: “Carole King made national news after her Border Collie’s floofbreak because Carole searched for fifty-seven days to find her friend.”

EVSEDA

EVSEDA (floofinition) – Acronym for Enjoyable Vortex of Sharing Every Day with Animals. EVSEDA is an expression coined to summarize the multiple pleasures and occasional frustrations experienced when living with animals, especially housepets. The vortex aspect of the acronym is to express how animals can monopolize time, attention, and energy in surprising and unexpected ways.

In use: “They had plans everyday, but EVSEDA often derailed their intentions as the cats, dogs, and goats played and chased, loved and cried, demanded attention, and struck sweet poses. Neither of them minded at all. EVSEDA enabled them to escape the world’s craziness. Both were privately certain that without EVSEDA, they’d probably be insane.”

Cubbyfloof

Cubbyfloof (floofinition) – Birds, fish, and animals, particularly housepets, who enjoy hiding in small spaces.

In use: “Spock, the large goldfish, was a true cubbyfloof. He loved wriggling into the tiny castle on the aquarium’s bottom, and was so adept at it, staying still and hidden within its confines for long periods, that people looking for him often wondered if he’d escaped.”

Infloofsitive

Infloofsitive (floofinition) – Curious pet or animal who can’t resist inspecting and examining objects and sounds.

In use: “All the pets were infloofsitive, but the little miniature Border Collie, Sassy, and the elegant Russian Blue feline, Jazmine, were the two who always got up, padded into the other room to see what was going on, and then returned, notifying the rest that the end is not nigh after all.”

Macrofloof

Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.

In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”

 

Floofhem

Floofhem (floofinition) – A housepet’s willful damage.

In use: “Becca grew aware that her cats and dogs seemed to share a secret agenda, inflicting floofhem on new clothes and shoes, resorting to damaging curtains or sofa, of new clothes weren’t available. Fortunately, she cared more about her pets than her things.”

h/t to Barbara Froman.

Floofling

Floofling (floofinition) – 1. Animals who appear to be from Earth but are actually visitors from another planet. 2. Smaller versions of animals. 3. Romance between two pets.

In use: “The way his cat stared at everything, as though astonishment constantly coursed through him, made Drake wonder if Pluto was a floofling.”

“Despite never meeting, the ginger cat and the Himalayan began a floofling, waiting for one another to appear in the window each morning and then spending the day non-verbally communicating.”

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