EVSEDA

EVSEDA (floofinition) – Acronym for Enjoyable Vortex of Sharing Every Day with Animals. EVSEDA is an expression coined to summarize the multiple pleasures and occasional frustrations experienced when living with animals, especially housepets. The vortex aspect of the acronym is to express how animals can monopolize time, attention, and energy in surprising and unexpected ways.

In use: “They had plans everyday, but EVSEDA often derailed their intentions as the cats, dogs, and goats played and chased, loved and cried, demanded attention, and struck sweet poses. Neither of them minded at all. EVSEDA enabled them to escape the world’s craziness. Both were privately certain that without EVSEDA, they’d probably be insane.”

Cubbyfloof

Cubbyfloof (floofinition) – Birds, fish, and animals, particularly housepets, who enjoy hiding in small spaces.

In use: “Spock, the large goldfish, was a true cubbyfloof. He loved wriggling into the tiny castle on the aquarium’s bottom, and was so adept at it, staying still and hidden within its confines for long periods, that people looking for him often wondered if he’d escaped.”

Infloofsitive

Infloofsitive (floofinition) – Curious pet or animal who can’t resist inspecting and examining objects and sounds.

In use: “All the pets were infloofsitive, but the little miniature Border Collie, Sassy, and the elegant Russian Blue feline, Jazmine, were the two who always got up, padded into the other room to see what was going on, and then returned, notifying the rest that the end is not nigh after all.”

Macrofloof

Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.

In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”

 

Floofhem

Floofhem (floofinition) – A housepet’s willful damage.

In use: “Becca grew aware that her cats and dogs seemed to share a secret agenda, inflicting floofhem on new clothes and shoes, resorting to damaging curtains or sofa, of new clothes weren’t available. Fortunately, she cared more about her pets than her things.”

h/t to Barbara Froman.

Floofling

Floofling (floofinition) – 1. Animals who appear to be from Earth but are actually visitors from another planet. 2. Smaller versions of animals. 3. Romance between two pets.

In use: “The way his cat stared at everything, as though astonishment constantly coursed through him, made Drake wonder if Pluto was a floofling.”

“Despite never meeting, the ginger cat and the Himalayan began a floofling, waiting for one another to appear in the window each morning and then spending the day non-verbally communicating.”

Floofmarm

Floofmarm (floofinition) – 1. A housepet who rigorously enforces adherence to a set order of activities and behavior. 2. A person who insists on specific and often ritualistic behavior by their animals.

In use: “The husky acted as a floofmarm, ensuring that everyone ate at their own bowl — something the cats didn’t readily appreciate — that all got out of bed when the women did, and that all went to bed at the correct time.”

Floofaneer

Floofaneer (floofinition) – Any of the freefloofers preying on unsuspecting households by sneaking in and eating other pets’ food and treats.

In use: “A sleek black cat, Pearl was soon known around the neighborhood as a floofaneer, fearlessly ferreting out petdoors and boldly entering other homes.”

Floofdrant

Floofdrant (floofinition) – A room or space divided by housepets for their use.

In use: “A floofdrant was always created along the same lines, with the older male cats taking to the easy chairs, the dogs on the sofa, and the female cat on the humans’ favorite leather recliner.”

Afloofpriate

Afloofpriate (floofinition) – When an animal, especially a houspet, acquires something for its own use or consumption.

In use: “She planned to have a nice butter croissant with apricot preserves for breakfast but her dog was faster, afloofpriating the warm food and gobbling it up as soon as she set the plate down.”

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