Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Comfloofications (floofinitions) – Ability among animals to pass messages to one another through one or more channels, such as smell, sound, or touch. Note: When done by cats via whiskers, sniffing, and rubbing, comfloofications is often referred to as catmunications.
In use: “People approaching the bush upset the bird guarding her nest. Her comfloofications about an approaching threat caused a digesting deer to stand up and pay close attention.”
Floofquiry (floofinition) – An investigation or examination conducted solely by animals.
In use: “An empty box in the room’s center soon triggered the beginning of a floofquiry. The bird began the floofceedings by calling out, “There’s a box in the living room.” Within seconds, leading with their noses, two cats and two dogs appeared on scene as floofrensic investigators.”
Floofkate (floofinition) – Floof Goddess of Moon, Earth, and Time. Floofkate was one of the profloofitors of the original floof kingdom, and learned to harness quantum energy in a way that others see as magic. A persistent myth exists that Floofkate was one of the many animals which are mentioned in human legends, but no longer exist. Most frequently cited is the unicorn.
In use: “As animal consciousness grew, connecting to one another on a quantum level in exponential numbers, Floofkate’s influence increased. Soon, with her help, they began dominating the Internet.”
Alterfloof (floofinition) – 1. Housepet or animal with more than one personality. 2. An animal or housepet who originated in another universe. 3. Slang for an otherworldly behaving housepet.
In use: “Sometimes Maxine could be terrifying. She was an alterfloof, frequently cuddling and sweet, but then suddenly growling and baring her teeth at everyone, spreading fright through the household. No one knew what caused the shifts.”
Floofzilla (floofinition) – 1. An animal that is much larger than average. 2. A housepet or animal that terrorizes others or is particularly adept at mass destruction. 3. Mythical pet that is cited as being responsible for the destruction of many ancient civilizations, including Timflooftu.
In use: “At six weeks old, the puppy transformed into floofzilla, wreaking havoc with towels, curtains, pillows, and toilet paper rolls.”
Headfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal that’s in charge. 2. An animal, especially a housepet, who likes to sit on people’s heads. 3. Housepet who enjoys messing with people’s minds.
In use: “Rocky was a headfloof, which was cute when he was tiny, but by the time he weighed more than ten pounds, his habit of jumping on your head was a pain in the neck.”
Afloofdala (floofinition) – Small, lima-bean shaped mass of gray matter located in the medial temporal lobes, that allow humans to emphasize with, love, and care for and about animals.
In use: “Surveys and interviews show that people with small or inactive afloofdalas often thought animals didn’t feel pain and lacked intelligence. Those with active afloofdalas reported otherwise. Interesting, but the size and activity of the afloofdala didn’t affect whether people kept pets, but it did affect how they regard their pets and how the pets are treated.”
Floofza (floofinition) – 1. A pizza made or bought specifically for an animal. 2. Pizza claimed by an animal for their own consumption.
In use: “His cats always wanted pizza, so bowing to the inevitable battle, he always created a floofza for their consumption. They still came after his pie, though.”
Nirfloofa (floofinition) – 1. A transcendental state humans feel when with an animal in which there is no suffering, desire, or a sense of self. 2. A transcendental state that animals enter when extremely satisfied, or high on natural herbs, such as catnip.
In use: “After sitting down and sighing to let the tension and stress of the day’s work and subsequent drive home drain out of him, the dog came over and put her head on his leg. After a few minutes of stroking the dog’s soft fur, nirfloofa came over him, and a new sigh, of satisfaction, slipped out.”
Busyfloof (floofinition) – A meddling, prying, officious, or inquisitive animal.
In use: “Jorge was constantly underfoot, which was a problem, as he was a large, white dog with a fluffy white tail that waved liked a conquering army’s flag. They tried to dissuade him, but the busyfloof was involved in everything from fixing meals to changing diapers, greeting people at the door, answering the phone, and typing on the computer.”
Michael Seidel, writer 