Tag: housepets

The Floof Street Journal

The Floof Street Journal (floofinition) – Periodical written, read, and distributed by animals. Written in universal floofish, the FSJ helps keep animals informed.

In use: “The Floof Street Journal has evolved from animals’ early efforts of information exchange via scents on trees, rocks, and other materials into a sophisticated method of keeping animals informed about what’s going on in the floofverse. Other periodicals, such as Floof Today, The Good Floofkeeping Journal, the Washington Floof, and Floof Times, rose to challenge the FSJ’s position, but it remained secure until digital media, such as Floofbook, raged onto the scene in recent decades.”

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Floof-poof

Floof-poof (floofinition) Animal who seems to disappear without warning, effort, or sound.

In use: “Many housepets have refined their own version of the floof-poof, causing frantic owners to wonder where they are, only to have the pet emerge with a quizzically innocent gaze that asks, “Is something wrong? Were you looking for me?””

 

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Husfloofdry

Husfloofdry (floofinition) – The care and watch over animals.

In use: “According to the Good Floofkeeping Journal, good husfloofdry mandates that the animals have fresh food and water, safety and shelter, companionship, and care when they’re sick or injured.”

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Barrafloofa

Barrafloofa (floofinition) – Animal known for its fearsome appearance and ferocious behaviour.

In use: “Normally friendly as a happy puppy, raised voices always summoned Herc’s inner barrafloofa. The family quickly learned not to do that, or argue, around the big dog, because Herc the barrafloofa wasn’t going to tolerate it.”

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Geoflooftry

Geoflooftry (floofinition) – Branch of floofmatics that deals with the measurement, properties, and relationships of points, lines, angles, surfaces, and solids.

In use: “Most animals (but especially housepets) have a poor sense of geoflooftry, believing that they can fit, wedge, or shape themselves into any space, even if its one tenth of their size.”

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Solipfloofsism

Solipfloofsism (floofinition) – A theory holding that an animal can know nothing but its own modifications and that it is the only existent creature.

In use: “It was a constant war with the cat to keep it off of the kitchen counters, but the feline’s solipfloofsism didn’t allow her to accept that others could control her. It wasn’t possible.”

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Beatflooftudes

Beatflooftudes (floofinition) – The blessings of sharing a life with animals.

In use: “Blessed are those share their homes with cats, dogs, birds, fish, and other creatures, for their spirits are nourished with love.”

 

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Floof Generis

Floof Generis (floofinition) – The impression that people think their pet is unique, usually due to its coloring, personality, or an unusual physical attribute.

In use: “She thought Dolphin (who loves the water) was floof generis but after posting his photos and descriptions on the Internet, she discovered others’ pets behaved the same way or resembled him. Dismissing the evidence, she remained convinced that he was floof generis; none were like him but you had to live with him to learn that.”

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Floofhalla

Floofhalla (floofinition) – The great hall where pets are honored and cared for after they’ve crossed the rainbow bridge.

In use: “Ozzy and Flash sat close to one another in Floofhalla (not too close, as Flash had this thing about other animals being in her presence, and she still carried that trait beyond the rainbow bridge), watching over their people and remembering their times with them before, and planning the times they’d have again.”

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Edfloofcate

Edfloofcate (floofinition) – 1. The process of delivering knowledge, particularly about rules, to animals.

In use: “You’re a new cat, so let me edfloofcate you to the house rules,” he said. “Number one, it’s my house and my rules.”

2. The process of training humans to understand that animals make their own rules.

In use: “Sitting down, the cat regarded the man with bemused eyes. Time to edfloofcate him about the truth about his house and his rules.”

 

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