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Floofpectation (floofinition) – a housepet’s strong belief that something will happen; an attempt, through behavior or sounds, to make something happen.
In use: “He had a sandwich. The animals crowded around with floofpectations. In exasperation, he said, “This is banana and peanut butter guys. You won’t like it.” But with floofpectations remaining high, the cats started purring and meowing and the dog emitted a little, “Woof”. Sighing, he held the sandwich out for their inspection.”
Hitchfloof (floofinition) – housepet’s mode of traveling by soliciting rides.
In use: “Beginning when he was a three pound puppy recovering from his horrid early life, the husky started hitchfloofing. Whenever they got up in the morning, the dog would jump up and go to one of them. Standing up on his hind legs with his front legs reaching up for them, he demanded to be carried around the house for a few minutes. Now that they were fifty years old and he was fifty-five pounds, it was harder to accommodate him.
“But they did.”
Floofbilant (floofinition) – adjective that reflects housepet’s jubilant expressions or feelings.
In use: “Looking around, she noted her floofagerie’s floofbilant floofmosphere. Dogs’ tails were thumping like high revving engines, the bird was hopping from foot to foot, and above it all was the cats’ melody of thrumming purrs.”
Floofizen (floofinition) – animal inhabitants of particular place.
In use: “Some floofizens are shy or adept at hiding in plain sight, challenging the ability to know if animals were present, but this wasn’t true for Millie the Boxer. She was the official door floof.”
Floofpoch (floofinition) – an event or a time characterized by having one or more specific housepets whose presence defines a new era.
In use: “The Flash Floofpoch meant no other animals were permitted in the yard, let alone the house. The little cat was on constant vigil against interlopers, jumping up from sound floofzes to rush to the window, look out, and growl at other beasts — squirrels, cats, dogs, people, whatever.”
Floof Manchu (floofinition) – 1. Markings on a housepet that gives that a resemblance to having a fu manchu style mustache.
In use: “She was an unusual cat, mostly white but with orange eyebrows and a darker orange floof manchu.”
Telefloof (floofinition) – the practice or habit of talking to housepets as though they understand.
In use: “Every morning, Michael began the day with a telefloof with the cats, advising them not to fight and asking their advice about his breakfast choices and the order that he should do activities. They made it clear that feeding them was top order of business.”
Floofaroni (floofinition) – 1. A housepet that features long, tubular bodies that remind people of macaroni; 2. Housepets that seem as loose and pliable as cooked macaroni noodles; 3. Macaroni covered in pet fur; 4. The macaroni that a pet starts eating.
In use: “After making mac and cheese for herself, set it on the table to go back and get pepper and a glass of wine. When she came back, the lab was standing on his hind legs, eating her meal. When she shouted, “Hey,” he looked at her like he was saying, “I thought this was floofaroni. This isn’t for me?””
Floofcadian (floofinition) – characterized by, or occurring in periods or cycles dictated by housepets.
In use: “In theory, he went to bed at midnight and got up at six thirty to seven in the morning, but the cat’s floofcadian rhythm meant he awoke several times, usually beginning at three oh seven, to deal with cats going in and out, asking for food, or causing mischief because they’re bored.”
Floophet (floofinition) – a housepet gifted with abilities to foretell the future.
In use: “The Dalmatian floophet always knew someone had arrived before others, and divined if they were a stranger before they reached the door, announcing the differences with unique barks, but she also knew when someone was becoming sick, even before they knew, immediately comforting and treating them with gentle tongue licks and a constant presence.”
Michael Seidel, writer 