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Coup d’floof (floofinition) – sudden, decisive action by one animal to change the situation among housepets.
In use: “In a brilliant coup d’floof, the dog grabbed the contested bed with his teeth and flipped it over with a mighty jerk, sending the cat out onto the floor.”
Floofosity (floofinition) – curiosity explicit to knowledge about housepets and their health, appearance, habits, and activities.
In use: “He often inquired about others’ pets, showing a native floofosity about the origins of their names, how they came to be in the household, how old they were, and so on.”
Flooftory (floofinition) – a housepet’s overcoming of a nemesis or obstacle; a housepet’s achievement, such as stealing a piece of cheese or a steak from an unwary human.
In use: “People often misuse flooftory, confusing it with inflooftory, but the first is about a floof winning something, such as the rights to a space, a piece of food, etc., and inflooftory is about finding all the animals to confirm their locations.”
Floofxedo (floofinition) – a housepet that looks like it’s wearing a tuxedo; housepet clothing ensemble that looks like a tuxedo.
In use: “The matching black and white dog and cat seemed to be wearing floofxedos. That would have been interesting by itself, but the house’s decor was black and white, with chrome highlights, and she was wearing a black and white ensemble with silver jewelry. It was over-the-top and unnerving.”
Flooftastic (floofinition) – extraordinary or amazing housepet; an activity done by a housepet that’s extraordinary or amazing; an imaginative or fanciful activity done by or for a housepet.
In use: “Emily preferred living outside on the patio even though the temperatures were dropping into the high teens and heavy snow often fell. To protect the cali kitty and give her warmth, comfort and protection, Jill devised a flooftastic, insulated, two-story heated condo with lights, food and water. She put a camera in it with a microphone so she could check on her feline friend whenever desired.”
Floofspot (floofinition) – 1. place on human bodies that pets like to rub. Floofologists theorize that many cats and dogs believe that rubbing a specific spot on a human will grant them complete control over the human’s activities, a practice first documented in ancient Flooflandia. 2. place on pets that humans like to rub because their pets seem to like it. 3. Specific location known as habitual sleeping, ambush, or lurking locations used by housepets.
In use: “As soon as he walked into view, the cats raced to his legs, rubbing against his calves, knees, and ankles in search of his floofspot, as their mother had taught them.”
Floofworm (floofinition) – a housepet who manages to worm themselves into every activity.
In use: “He laid down to read but before a paragraph was red, a floofworm jumped up, edging onto his chest and blocking his view of the book.”
Transfloof (floofinition) – a housepet who behaves as though they’re another species.
In use: “It was altogether a strange house, full of tranfloofs. A black cat hung around with the dogs, acting like them, while a miniature poodle preferred the cats’ company, doing everything they did, and doing a strange yipping meow. As icing on the situation, the bird barked, meowed, mooed, and talked like the humans. It was altogether chaotic, but funny.”
Floof Lane (floofinition) – the path formed or blocked by resting housepets.
In use: “Weaving around the cats and dog blocking his path between his office and the kitchen — because the animals do not move except to look at you, oh, no, you must go around them or step over them — he couldn’t resist singing, “Life in the floof lane, guaranteed to trip you up, life in the floof lane, uh huh.”
Floofpera (floofinition) – a dramatic work in one or more acts featuring housepets, sometimes written by humans, but often improvised by pets.
In use: “A single barking voice interrupted Miguel’s sleep. The solo was soon a furious duet. Wondering what’d energized his mutts, he rolled out of bed and staggered down the hall to check the floofpera. It was usually the big squirrel or the neighbor’s big tuxedo cat, but sometimes it was people.”
Michael Seidel, writer 