First Floof

First Floof (floofinition) – informal or ceremonial title given to the housepet which has preferential standing.

In use: “She’d always had cats. Daisy came to her when her son went to war and never returned. Showing remarkable intelligence — for a dog, in her opinion — Daisy quietly became her loyal First Floof and was by her side when she went to sleep and didn’t wake up, staying there until the police came on a welfare check.”



Floofpious (floofinition) – 1. An abundance of housepets; 2. Someone religiously devoted to animals, particularly housepets.

In use: “Her floofpious existence ended up with a house featuring several catios with cat trees and shelters, along with kennels with dog houses, and bird cages. No animal was ever turned away, although some of them were only with her until she found it a home more suited for its situation.”


Machfloofnations (floofinition) – 1. A housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design intended to accomplish some end; 2. People’s scheming or crafty action to deal with a housepet.

In use: “Every time Bo saw Papi leave through the pet door, the big black cat would run over and lie down in front of it so Papi couldn’t return, part of the machfloofnations Bo employed to keep the little ginger out of the house.”


Flooflist (floofinition) – 1. shopping list for items required to buy for housepets. 2. A list, record, index, or advertisement of animals available for fostering, rescue, lost, or found.

In use: “Each day, she perused flooflists from regional shelters, searching for her lost dog, but had no luck. However, she fell in love with one mature, unwanted dog and decided that she would adopt him. The day after he moved in, her lost dog, Esmerelda, returned.”


Floofnik (floofinition) – an ardent supporter of pets and animals’ rights; someone who fervently loves animals.

In use: “When her children left home, she became a floofnik, spending time at shelters, fostering animals, helping animals, and raising them, eventually buying a large property to use as an animal sanctuary.”


Floofpectation (floofinition) – a housepet’s strong belief that something will happen; an attempt, through behavior or sounds, to make something happen.

In use: “He had a sandwich. The animals crowded around with floofpectations. In exasperation, he said, “This is banana and peanut butter guys. You won’t like it.” But with floofpectations remaining high, the cats started purring and meowing and the dog emitted a little, “Woof”. Sighing, he held the sandwich out for their inspection.”


Hitchfloof (floofinition) – housepet’s mode of traveling by soliciting rides.

In use: “Beginning when he was a three pound puppy recovering from his horrid early life, the husky started hitchfloofing. Whenever they got up in the morning, the dog would jump up and go to one of them. Standing up on his hind legs with his front legs reaching up for them, he demanded to be carried around the house for a few minutes. Now that they were fifty years old and he was fifty-five pounds, it was harder to accommodate him.

“But they did.”


Floofbilant (floofinition) – adjective that reflects housepet’s jubilant expressions or feelings.

In use: “Looking around, she noted her floofagerie’s floofbilant floofmosphere. Dogs’ tails were thumping like high revving engines, the bird was hopping from foot to foot, and above it all was the cats’ melody of thrumming purrs.”


Floofizen (floofinition) – animal inhabitants of  particular place.

In use: “Some floofizens are shy or adept at hiding in plain sight, challenging the ability to know if animals were present, but this wasn’t true for Millie the Boxer. She was the official door floof.”

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