Carpe floof

Carpe floof (floofinition) – the enjoyment of the pleasures of a housepet without concern for the future.

In use: “Much spring cleaning remained but the cats and dogs’ loving looks inspired a carpe floof mood, and she found herself with her pets on a chair in the sun, eating a pastry while reading a book.”

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Haflooftia

Haflooftia (floofinition) – a housepet’s tragic flaw.

In use: “Cleo was generally a sweet tabby, but her haflooftia of sitting on the steps and preventing the dogs from going up and down almost led to her being re-homed.”

Parafloofic

Parafloofic (floofinition) – of, having the form of, or relating to a housepet, such as a cat, dog, bird, etc.; expressed by being a housepet.

In use: “One large sun room was a parafloofic paradise, full of cat trees, food and water dishes for the cats and dogs, cushioned sofas and chairs where the animals lounged in sunshine, and budgies hanging from the ceiling in cages.

Reflooftive

Reflooftive (floofinition) – a person’s behavior imitating a pet’s action; a housepet’s efforts to imitate or duplicate people’s behavior.

In use: “The morning became a reflooftive routine. First, when the dog stretched, she dropped down and stretched like him, wiggling her butt like he wagged his tail. Then, when she went into her yoga routine, he joined alongside her, stretching and putting his leg over his head. It always made her laugh.”

Floofereens

Floofereens (floofinition) – the damage and wreckage left by the activities of one or more housepets.

In use: “Housepets’ flooferreens can be immense, she knew, having experienced a Lab that reduced her sofa cushions to confetti, and cats that had obliterated house plants, Christmas trees, curtains, and toilet paper.”

Friday’s Theme Music

The cats inspired today’s theme music. I’d gotten out of bed and came into the office. From the other room came the sounds of a clumsy cat in the kitty litter box. A few moments later, a stink cyclone struck me.

As I hastened to attend the natural disaster, I told the cat (who wanted out, and I understand why), “I love you but sometimes love stinks.”

J. Geils Band, “Love Stinks”, 1980.

Flooferone

Flooferone (floofinition) – a pet’s task to escort people around the house to ensure they don’t get lost, hurt, or attacked.

In use: “One important flooferone duty was going to the bathroom with people, and protect them from others. Something or someone breaking in was a constant risk and getting their people was a risk that the humans just didn’t grasp.”

Floofogenesis

Floofogenesis (floofinition) – the development and strengthening of housepets between one another, with their  or both.

In use: “A rescue from a bad situation, the German Shepherd often hid and growled in the early day. Through a long, patient floofogenesis, the dog came to trust her. She silently cried the first time he came into her bedroom, jumped on the bed and settled down to sleep beside her as she read.”

Floofpository

Floofpository (floofinition) – a place where items for housepets are stored; the location housepets use to store their trophies, hide their treasures, or conduct private business; (slang) a kitty-litter box, also called a shitpository.

In use: “Although several utility room shelves were employed as a floofpository for cat and dog food and baskets of toys for each, the dog had a habit of stealing socks and stashing them in the office, making it a sock floofpository, and the cat always puked in the bedroom corner, turning it into a hairball floofpository.”

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