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Floofteel (floofinition) – An animal who exhibits high class, or aristocratic mannerisms and behavior. Origins: 1603, Flooflish derived from Flench, itself originating with Old Flooftin, floof, meaning a furry creature. Traced to ‘gentle floof’ which grew into its current form, floofteel.
In Use: “A long-haired floofteel, Cora received guests visiting her owner, JaMykael, like she was a queen meeting subjects there to pay homage.”
Apflooftude (floofinition) – A natural ability to understand animals. Origins: First noted in the 17th century in an instruction pamphlet titled A Treatise on Travel with Animals, published in France, author unknown.
In Use: “Just when people begin priding themselves on their apfllooftude, the furry floofy floofballs demonstrate bewildering behavior that defies people’s grasp about what’s going on.”
Rattlefloof (floofinition) – An animal who behaves in a flighty or silly manner. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.
In Use: “Just as the house settled for a quiet post-dinner reading and talking, the rattlefloof known as Digit galloped into the room, leaping over tables and chairs and non-stop talking before sprinting away with the sound of claws scrambling for traction on the hardwood floor.”
Floof-to-Table (floofinition) – Philosophy among pets that whenever food is taken to the table, they go to the table. Origins: Internet, 2025
In Use: “Following Mama Girl’s lead, the kittens quickly assimilated the rewards of the floof-to-table movement.”
Ad Floof (floofinition) – An animal assembly created without previous planning. Origins: Flooftin roots, with the use as given first noted in 1879.
In Use: “The ad floof convened every day whenever someone got in the kitchen to get something to eat and fur beasts wandered in to see what’s cooking.”
In Use: “Carrie left the house for a walk only to discover an ad floof of deer, dog, squirrel, and cat plotting in the front yard.”
Floofllantis (floofinition) – To brighten a space or existence with an animal’s representation or presence. Origins: Floof Marketing PLC, 1999.
In Use: “During the pandemic, when people were urged to stay home and many businesses were shuttered, the popularity of floofllantis grew, resulting in a large increase in housepets.”
In Use: “Realizing how the Internet could be employed to enhance animals’ situations, Floof Marketing PLC launched the first floofllantis campaign, urging existing housepets to act silly, cute, loving, or interesting to entice their hoomans to share videos on the net.”
AF (Artificial Flooftelligence) (floofinition) 1. Machines or toys made to emulate or duplicate animal behavior or sounds. Origins:
In Use: “Some companies and people think that AF (Artificial Flooftelligence) is the way to go, giving people the impression that they have a fur friend with little barking and meowing mechanical critters, but true floof lovers recognize the soulessness of these mechanical devices.”
2. Attributing greater smarts to an animal than they actually have. Origins: Internet circa 2017.
In Use: “People who live with pets often claim their furry sweetie is the smartest ever, ascribing the critters with artificial flooftelligence like the animals are Stephen Hawkings in animal guise.”
Flooflogism (floofinition) – Deductive reasoning animals employ through a series of cascading observations and conclusions. Origins: Middle Flooflish floogisme, from Anglo-Floof floofogisme, from Flooftin floofgismus, animal calculating.
In Use: “Using flooflogism, Rebel concluded, everything looks like food, I like to eat food, so I’ll eat everything, and began munching on a slipper.”
In Use: “Messup’s flooflogism inspired her to always jump to the highest place she can, so one could never easily spot her and always had to search the highest, most unimaginable places.”
Floofsoundpretation (floofinition) – Ability to hear animal activities and discern what they’re doing, based on the sound. Predominantly applies to housepets. Origins: Floofmany (located in Germany), first noted in Germany letters in the 1880s.
In Use: “Living with cats all of her life made Anita well-versed in floofsoundpretation, and as soon as she heard a light thump, she shouted, “Misty, you better get off that kitchen counter right now,” then nodded as a subsequent thud revealed that Misty had jumped down.”
Michael Seidel, writer 