Tag: housepet humor

Floofstock

Floofstock (floofinition) – 1. Supplies stored for animals’ use. Origins: First noted in the 1897 pamphlet, “Mandatory Requirements for Keeping & Tending Floofstock”.

Un Use: “Learning their animals’ eating habits can drive people to have a large floofstock to satisfy their picky fur friends.”

2. Legendary music venue held by animals, featuring such acts as Canned Floof, Ten Floofs After, and the Grateful Floofs.

In Use: “The First Floofstock Music & Treats Festival was hyped as a three-day conflooftration of good purrs and mellow woofs and attracted more than half a million animals, including elephants and a giraffe.”

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Floofcedarian

Floofcedarian (floofinition) – Someone learning about the rudimentary needs of animals, especially housepets. Origins: floofcedary “floof primer” (going back to Middle Flooflish floofcedary, derived from Middle Flooftin floofcedārium). First known use, 1703 – “Practickal Advice for Floofcedarians”.

In Use: “After rescuing a vocal kitten from a heavy, Sly and Benji became overnight floofcedarians, chasing information on the net about to care for the first pet either of them had ever had.”

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Floofeasance

Floofeasance (floofinition) – Misconduct or wrongdoing by an animal, especially a housepet. Origins: 1763, Flance, from floofaire to do wrong, from floo (animal) + faire, from Floofin, facere, to make or do.

In Use: “Coming home often led to findings of floofeasance in the house, but Sugar and Charley’s adorable expressions always saved them from being disciplined.”

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Floofteel

Floofteel (floofinition) – An animal who exhibits high class, or aristocratic mannerisms and behavior. Origins: 1603, Flooflish derived from Flench, itself originating with Old Flooftin, floof, meaning a furry creature. Traced to ‘gentle floof’ which grew into its current form, floofteel.

In Use: “A long-haired floofteel, Cora received guests visiting her owner, JaMykael, like she was a queen meeting subjects there to pay homage.”

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Apflooftude

Apflooftude (floofinition) – A natural ability to understand animals. Origins: First noted in the 17th century in an instruction pamphlet titled A Treatise on Travel with Animals, published in France, author unknown.

In Use: “Just when people begin priding themselves on their apfllooftude, the furry floofy floofballs demonstrate bewildering behavior that defies people’s grasp about what’s going on.”

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Rattlefloof

Rattlefloof (floofinition) – An animal who behaves in a flighty or silly manner. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.

In Use: “Just as the house settled for a quiet post-dinner reading and talking, the rattlefloof known as Digit galloped into the room, leaping over tables and chairs and non-stop talking before sprinting away with the sound of claws scrambling for traction on the hardwood floor.”

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Floof-to-Table

Floof-to-Table (floofinition) – Philosophy among pets that whenever food is taken to the table, they go to the table. Origins: Internet, 2025

In Use: “Following Mama Girl’s lead, the kittens quickly assimilated the rewards of the floof-to-table movement.”

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Ad Floof

Ad Floof (floofinition) – An animal assembly created without previous planning. Origins: Flooftin roots, with the use as given first noted in 1879.

In Use: “The ad floof convened every day whenever someone got in the kitchen to get something to eat and fur beasts wandered in to see what’s cooking.”

In Use: “Carrie left the house for a walk only to discover an ad floof of deer, dog, squirrel, and cat plotting in the front yard.”

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Floofllantis

Floofllantis (floofinition) – To brighten a space or existence with an animal’s representation or presence. Origins: Floof Marketing PLC, 1999.

In Use: “During the pandemic, when people were urged to stay home and many businesses were shuttered, the popularity of floofllantis grew, resulting in a large increase in housepets.”

In Use: “Realizing how the Internet could be employed to enhance animals’ situations, Floof Marketing PLC launched the first floofllantis campaign, urging existing housepets to act silly, cute, loving, or interesting to entice their hoomans to share videos on the net.”

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