Floofkensian(floofinition) – Originating with or reminiscent of an animal. Origins: Charles Dickens, English Novelist, 1858, “A Tale of Three Kitties”.
In Use: “Floofkensian habits often endured for Jerry long after his floof’s departure, such as looking for them when he woke up in the morning or came home from work or shopping. Years passed before he finally and totally shed those habits.”
In Use: “Dickens left his mark on the household. By the time the rescue puppy passed away, floofkensian routines like afternoon walks, sharing food with the housefloofs, and sleeping with a furry warm body against you was firmly entrenched.”
Well, I suppose I would compare myself to common, lowly housefloofs. Basically, a floof is an animal, bird, fish, or reptile. A housefloof is then one of those critters living with humans, even if their accomodations aren’t an actual ‘house’.
I say that I’m a housefloof based on my observations of housefloofs residing with me. Those were cats and dogs. My typical housefloofs were creatures of comfort who enjoyed lazing in sunshine, periodically apparently thinking themselves into a doze. This is something which I also do, although I’ll often have a book in my hand and will read myself into a doze. I have seen animals with books, newspapers, and magazines; they enjoy sleeping on them. I’ve yet to witness any housefloof holding a book. I suppose they could be waiting until I’m not around to pick up a book. They do the same with my computer, logging on when I’m not using it, trying to order themselves things from the net. How else can some of the things delivered to our door be explained?
The other thing about housefloofs which I’ve noticed which cements my comparison to one of ’em is their interest in food. They can be sound asleep — or so convincingly pretending to be that I can’t tell they’re awake — when a can, bag, or refrigerator is opened. Then, pop! Their eyes open. They sit up and look up, orienting their senses with precision: “I hear food; there it is.” Some are so adept at this, they react to the sound, leap up, and dash to the food before awakening. I swear, one cat became so good at this whole thing that she picked up our intentions to get something to eat and was there to greet us when we entered the kitchen.
I can honestly say that I’m quite like those housefloofs. I hear the ‘frig open or a bag. Click; hello, what’s that noise? I seek out my other to see, “What are you eating? What do you have?” And like my housefloofs, I’ll sometimes try to surreptitiously seize a share and scurry away.
Sometimes, though, like the housefloofs, I’m disappointed by the result, and sulk away to resume my previous activity.
Floofogenarian(floofinition) – An older person with an animal or animals. Origins: First known use in 1744.
In Use: “The Railroad District was a serious of very square blocks of houses built in the 1930 filled with floofogenarians who shared their homes with cats and dogs.”
My wife was stewing. “Papi changed his routine today. For some reason, he suddenly wanted outside at 4:22, more than two hours before his usual time. I don’t know what’s going on but there he was, scratching on the door, yipping at me because he couldn’t wake you up.”
Between us, I had been awakened but ignored the floofcas Papi was causing because I didn’t want to get up.
I thought of the reasons why Papi the ginger blade, aka Butter Butt, changed his hours. May have been a bowel movement thing. Papi prefers to use the outdoors as his toilet, frequenting the area by the fence behind the bushes.
But, him being a cat, perhaps he heard noises outside and felt a need to investigate. Conversely, maybe he realized the noises were coming from inside the house and decided that the outside was safer.
Other ideas are possible. Flooflight savings time may have kicked in. From what I understand from floofotologists, floofs are notoriously independent about FST. Each decides when they’ll switch over — or if they won’t switch at all. Often, though, once one floof changes to FST, other housefloofs do the same. After all they don’t want to miss out by falling an hour behind their floofmate, cause food. They’d rather get up an hour early rather than missing out on food.
Wednesday slides into place with a click. Snuggles up to August 14, 2024.
Cool summer morning. Hints of spring in that mountain air feel. It’s 62 F under smoke-free blues skies. Another less-than-hot day is expected, with a high of just 85 F. Comes with an asterisk: rain is forecasted for the evening, with thunderstorms. The thunderstorms aspect causes a thoughtful hitch to mental processes. Thunderstorms mean lightning. Lightning means fires. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, we won’t get hit. We’ve been fortunate so far this year.
I kept the windows open all day yesterday, along with the back blinds. It reached 83 F at our house outside, but inside was a comfy 78.
Weird, though, it smells like rain right now. I see that clouds have cantered in. Maybe they’re just getting an early start on setting up.
The housefloofs are digging on this chill weather. Sauntering into sunny places after breakfast, they assumed the grooming position. A jay karens over to tell them they’re grooming wrong. Those jays are such know-it-alls.
Just finished reading of Ernesto. It’s a Cat 1 hurricane now. Already been troubling Puerto Rico, which really doesn’t need it. Puerto Rico and a hurricane of course triggers images of then President Trump tosses out paper towels.
Paper towels are not really effective hurricane assistance. What are you going to do, Bounty up the flooding with ten zillion paper towels? Think of how many trash cans that would fill.
BTW, in a bizarre mental twist, calling the storm a ‘Cat 1’ has me imagining a huge cat swatting things around as the hurricane’s energy source. I think I need more coffee.
Shout it from the deep state’s secret location rooftops: inflation is below 3%. All those deeply concerned handwringers on the right whining about inflation should shut it now — if they’re aware. That’s the bigger problem: they’re not sharp about history, a little fuzzy on words and their meanings, and often stumble over what’s in and not in the Constitution. Of course, their news diet contributes. The right wing news feed will make you sick.
We got the dance theme continuing for today. The Neurons brought up a friend’s favorite. We were working together back when the musical Mamma Mia! hit the scene in 1999. She was sooo excited about it. I was sort of, meh, so I asked, why does it have her so up? Well, high school, the prom, “Dancing Queen” was the rage then.
Right then, our age differences were momentarily magnified. But hang on, I said; that came out in the seventies. Right, she agreed, but there had been some kind of revival of it when she was in high school. I’d not heard about that, but then, I’d been out the country in the military. Anyway, to belabor the point, The Neurons have “Dancing Queen” by Abba circulating in the morning mental music stream (Trademark bebopping).
Stay positive, be strong, and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee is at hand, so here is the music. Cheers
Floofumnavigate(floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s
In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”
In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”
2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.
In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”
In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”
Eloflooftion(floofinition) – A style of speaking to an animal especially in private.
In Use: “Derek and Hercules were both substantial individuals, when alone at home, Derek always slipped into a squeaky eloflooftion that had the dog pumping his tail in zest and bark with happiness.”
In Use: “Whenever people entered the house and spotted the kittens, they inevitably told the tiny critters how cute the beings were in eloflooftion like they were talking to human infants.”
Recent Use: “Sometimes eloflooftion isn’t needed because the floof and the human both know how much they love and appreciate one another.
An email was forwarded to us by friends who live about two miles away. We’re toward Ashlandia’s southern perimeter, and they’re above the library downtown. It’s a small town.
Good morning HOA – I wanted to reach out and let you all know that the past 2 nights we have had a cougar in the neighborhood. Last night, it unfortunately killed our older cat. We also found a dead raccoon in our yard so I would urge you all to keep any pets inside at night if possible. The cougar seems to be especially active around dusk – It was hunting earlier in the evening yesterday just after 6pm and we had let our cat out without thinking it would be active so early.
It looks to be injured and we have seen it limping. It did not run away when we tried to shoo it away so be aware that if you are near it, it may not run away and may be more aggressive because it is injured and can’t run away easily.
We’re rural, not deeply populated or industrialized. Cougars and bears live in the area along with foxes and coyotes, raccoons, deer, etc. Of course, the cougars and bears are rarer that most of the others, wilder, and carnivores, so they get a sketch more attention than other critters. That it has killed someone’s pet makes me wince for the animal and its owner. Grudgingly I accept, this is part of life, and then my thoughts churn with worry about my own little housefloofs and how much they enjoy going outside.
Michael Seidel, writer 