Tag: funny

Hi Yourself

Stepping into the coffee shop, I immediately scan for a table and chair to sit and write.

It’s late morning and busy. Aha, though — two tables are there for —

“Hey, Michael.”

I’m being accosted from across the room. The speaker is a barista. Having shouted out my name, they’ve busy multi-tasking.

Spotting Kat first, I begin, “Hey, Ka — “

I see Natalie.

I don’t know which called out.

So I finish, “Talie.”

Chuckling to myself about this, I dumped my gear at a table and head to the counter. Kat is manning the register and Natalie is busy preparing my coffee. I hear Natalie say, “Curling,” before she turns away.

Kat asks, “Let me ask you, Michael. Are you watching the Olympics?”

“Only the curling,” I reply.

Natalie roars with laughter as Kat’s mouth drops open.

“No way,” Kat finally says.

“Yes, way,” I answer. “By the way. When I came in, I heard one of you say hello to me. I didn’t know who it was, so I called you Katalie.”

The two bend over with laughter. “We ARE Katalie,” Kat shouts. Whipping toward each other, she and Natalie exchange high fives.

I pay and take my coffee. The writing day has an auspicious beginning.

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Sumpin A Lil’ Different

My wife does a lot of scrolling. Not just doom scrolling, but also watching animal, political, and humor videos. She also reads a lot and constantly prowls for more books for her TBR list.

Today she was listening to Kristen Key talking about Buffalo Wings and other matters in Buffalo, NY. I found it funny and interesting and thought, let’s share this with the world. Socialize Kristen Key’s humor. Let us all laugh a bit. Hope you enjoy it as much as me.

Cheers

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Wednesday’s Wandering Political Thoughts

I should just stay away from the news because it’s just pissing me off.

AOC set out to be the ranking Democrat on the House Oversight Committee. Gerry Connolly, 74, with cancer, won. Because one obvious takeaway from the 2024 elections is ‘old is good’. Seriously, Connolly won because money talks and he brought in more, another lesson gleaned from the 2024 elections: yes, stay the same old, same old. That’s what the voters signalled they wanted, isn’t it?

There’s a load of extra-spicy morning snark in that paragraph. But it’s this kind of shit that torpedoes my faith in the Democratic Party and their future. They continue making the same tone-deaf decisions that led to the Blue Wave in 2024. Yes, that was more snark. All they’ve done is cemented the impression that they haven’t changed and won’t change.

Turning to Crooks & Liars, they provided a happy spark by pointing out what a fucking idiot Trump is by citing what he says about groceries. First, they quoted him from an interview about his promise to lower prices.

“Look, they got them up. I’d like to bring them down. It’s hard to bring things down once they’re up. You know, it’s very hard,” Trump told Time, admitting to what many of us knew months ago.

Then they offered this:

On Thursday, Trump offered up a perplexing story about “an old woman” buying three apples at a grocery store and taking “one of the apples back to the refrigerator” because the price was too high. (Apples are not usually stocked in refrigerators.)

snip

This past Sunday, during an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Trump said, “I won on groceries. Very simple word, groceries. Like almost—you know, who uses the word? I started using the word—the groceries. … I won an election based on that.”

My gag reflex kicked in. “I started using the word — the groceries.” Like, oh my cat, this is what stirred people to vote for Trump? Such a wise people they are, following such a wise man. They should have voted for me. I’ve been using the word groceries since like the 1960s.

I’m trying to be a more positive person and look forward. Get through this winter and reach a new spring for democracy in the U.S. But I’m used to reading the news, trying to make sense of the world. It ain’t working for me.

Think I’ll just shut down and go read a book and drink coffee.

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