Floofnomen – The name by which an animal or animals refer to people. Origins: Roman empire.
In Use: “Many people mistakenly believe that cats reduce people to their roles, i.e. can-opener or spare human one, but almost all floofs give human specific floofnomen, although the floofnomen can often translate to things like ‘primary food giver’ and ‘the door man’.”
In Use: “Michael didn’t know it but his floofnomen among his cats was Mrupew, which was like an amusing sound to him, but which translates to ‘warm body person’ in Floofish.”
Tacifloof(floofinition) – An animal who is mostly silent. Origins, Floofish, circa 1734, Flooflund.
In Use: “Yolanda’s big Maine tacifloof let out an angry tiger’s growl in the backyard, bringing her out in time to watch Kosmo chase a big black bear out of the yard.”
Floofgom(floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.
In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”
Moanday is upon us again. That is Moanday as in, “Dear Lord, it’s Monday again.” I understand some people like Mondays. Come back to me and ask after I’ve had coffee.
It’s December 5, 2022. That happens to be my little sister’s birthday. She’s beautiful, intelligent, successful, and highly capable. Things every person should be. Generates suspicions in me about whether I’m related to her, though I was there when Mom brought her home and admired her as she slept. I know her husband, children, grandchildren, sisters, and Mom will all properly fete her.
Don’t you think that should be an expression? “Well, fete me, if I didn’t forget to buy that card while I was out.”
Sorry, lack of coffee is making The Neurons are little freakie deakie this Moanday.
36 F is what my weather station claims it to be. It’s a wet, foggy, gloomy Moanday, something appropriate for the moors. Our high will be 46. The end pieces of sunrise and sun drop are 7:24 and 4:39, AM and PM respectively. All but small, distant football fields of snow are gone from the mountains from what I saw yesterday. Rain is coming, they say. Probably snow a bit in the upper reaches.
Spent some time from being human and reading news to watching the volcano eruption in Hawaii. Being human is a minor theme this AM. Started with the cats. Restless due to weather, they intensely shadowed me this morning, vocally challenging me at every turn. Chatting with them, my refrain became, “Guys, look, I already fed you. I don’t understand what you want. I’m only human. I don’t understand your floofish.”
Paying scant attention, my neural Alexa told The Neurons, “Play Human by The Human League.” The 1986 soft ballad is classic techno pop. Get in a car, close your eyes, and you can be transported to the Reagan years. Of course, I sang the floof version for the cats’ amusement. First, there was, “You’re only human, a pathetic little man.” That’s how they seem to feel about me at times. Later’s version was, “I’m just a kitty, fur and claws, a cat.”
The Neurons are gasping for coffee. I need to end their pain. Here’s the music. Go ahead, drift back in time, if but a few seconds. Cheers
Floof-à-floof(floofinition) From Floofish, literally one animal facing another.
In use: “Although the cats had ‘shared’ a home for literally seven years, every morning began with a floof-à-floof moment when they squared off in the hallway and yowled their darkest threats at one another as though facing the greatest threat ever.”
Floofish(catfinition) – a cat who pretends to be another creature or fakes doing other activities to take advantage of others or a situation.
In use: “She was a little floofish, pretending to sleep when the plate of chicken was put out, but once she was alone in the room, she leaped up, grabbed a piece, and scurried away to enjoy it in private.”
Michael Seidel, writer 