Haifloof (floofinition) – an unrhymed verse form about housepets, typically with three lines containing five, seven, and five lines.
In use:
Counterproflooftive
Counterproflooftive (floofinition) – actions people take to prevent or inhibit housepet’s activities or behavior.
In use: “Doors were closed to the cats and dogs, counterproflooftive measures to keep the toilet paper intact, keep animals from drinking toilet water, and keep the house clean. It was marginally effective.”
Cofloofinute
Cofloofinute (floofinition) – reduction of something to small particles by a housepet.
In use: “He was a sweet but young Dutch Shepherd, and quickly demonstrated that he could cofloofinute the mail into confetti as it came through the slot.”
Floofbelly Elegy
Floofbelly Elegy (floofinition) – collection of memoirs by housepets, the people they lived with, and their values.
In use: “In one chapter of Floofbelly Elegy, a calico named Agent 86 told of how she liked to let people pet her, drop onto the ground and roll on her back, exposing her belly, and then attack people when they tried rubbing her belly.”
Infloofstigate
Infloofstigate (floofinition) – a housepet’s study or observation by close examination and systematic inquiry.
In use: “Whenever the door opened, Capri began to infloofstigate by going to a safe distance, listening and sniffing, and then move closer, listening and sniffing, until she was in touching distance of the visitor. That was only the beginning.”
Floofview
Floofview (floofinition) – a housepet’s range or limit of authority, competence, responsibility, concern, or intention.
In use: “When it comes to floofview, few animals have taken it to Beth’s level. The large German Shepherd believed everything was within her floofview, especially new puppies and kittens who need care and help.”
Floofzing
Floofzing (floofinition) – napping in a semi-somnolent state, with senses alert for intrusions, threats, or someone eating something.
In use: “The floofzing cats’ ears turned when he drew a bag of granola from the cupboard, tuning into the sound as they napped and waiting to see what developed.”
Carpe floof
Carpe floof (floofinition) – the enjoyment of the pleasures of a housepet without concern for the future.
In use: “Much spring cleaning remained but the cats and dogs’ loving looks inspired a carpe floof mood, and she found herself with her pets on a chair in the sun, eating a pastry while reading a book.”
Haflooftia
Haflooftia (floofinition) – a housepet’s tragic flaw.
In use: “Cleo was generally a sweet tabby, but her haflooftia of sitting on the steps and preventing the dogs from going up and down almost led to her being re-homed.”
Parafloofic
Parafloofic (floofinition) – of, having the form of, or relating to a housepet, such as a cat, dog, bird, etc.; expressed by being a housepet.
In use: “One large sun room was a parafloofic paradise, full of cat trees, food and water dishes for the cats and dogs, cushioned sofas and chairs where the animals lounged in sunshine, and budgies hanging from the ceiling in cages.
Michael Seidel, writer 