Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofquiry (floofinition) – An investigation or examination conducted solely by animals.
In use: “An empty box in the room’s center soon triggered the beginning of a floofquiry. The bird began the floofceedings by calling out, “There’s a box in the living room.” Within seconds, leading with their noses, two cats and two dogs appeared on scene as floofrensic investigators.”
Floofkate (floofinition) – Floof Goddess of Moon, Earth, and Time. Floofkate was one of the profloofitors of the original floof kingdom, and learned to harness quantum energy in a way that others see as magic. A persistent myth exists that Floofkate was one of the many animals which are mentioned in human legends, but no longer exist. Most frequently cited is the unicorn.
In use: “As animal consciousness grew, connecting to one another on a quantum level in exponential numbers, Floofkate’s influence increased. Soon, with her help, they began dominating the Internet.”
Alterfloof (floofinition) – 1. Housepet or animal with more than one personality. 2. An animal or housepet who originated in another universe. 3. Slang for an otherworldly behaving housepet.
In use: “Sometimes Maxine could be terrifying. She was an alterfloof, frequently cuddling and sweet, but then suddenly growling and baring her teeth at everyone, spreading fright through the household. No one knew what caused the shifts.”
Floofzilla (floofinition) – 1. An animal that is much larger than average. 2. A housepet or animal that terrorizes others or is particularly adept at mass destruction. 3. Mythical pet that is cited as being responsible for the destruction of many ancient civilizations, including Timflooftu.
In use: “At six weeks old, the puppy transformed into floofzilla, wreaking havoc with towels, curtains, pillows, and toilet paper rolls.”
Headfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal that’s in charge. 2. An animal, especially a housepet, who likes to sit on people’s heads. 3. Housepet who enjoys messing with people’s minds.
In use: “Rocky was a headfloof, which was cute when he was tiny, but by the time he weighed more than ten pounds, his habit of jumping on your head was a pain in the neck.”
Floofza (floofinition) – 1. A pizza made or bought specifically for an animal. 2. Pizza claimed by an animal for their own consumption.
In use: “His cats always wanted pizza, so bowing to the inevitable battle, he always created a floofza for their consumption. They still came after his pie, though.”
Floofws (floofinition) – Recently received or noteworthy information about animals, particularly about important events.
In use: “By careful culling, he made floofws almost all that he saw on the net, reading, gathering, and posting humorous stories or daring rescues involving animals. After five decades of following politics, sports, and the economy, he was tired of the craziness and inclined to move to the comfort of the floofws.”
Floofcialize (floofinition) – Animal’s friendly participation or interaction with other animals or people.
In use: “Although the kitten was six weeks old and had been living rough on the streets, he floofcialized within an hour, rumbling up to the German Shepherd for companionship, playing with resident queen feline in another hour, and comfortably napping with his new human friends within three hours. By the next day, it seemed like he’d always been there.”
Nirfloofa (floofinition) – 1. A transcendental state humans feel when with an animal in which there is no suffering, desire, or a sense of self. 2. A transcendental state that animals enter when extremely satisfied, or high on natural herbs, such as catnip.
In use: “After sitting down and sighing to let the tension and stress of the day’s work and subsequent drive home drain out of him, the dog came over and put her head on his leg. After a few minutes of stroking the dog’s soft fur, nirfloofa came over him, and a new sigh, of satisfaction, slipped out.”
Polterfloof (floofinition) – A usually mischievous animal, often thought to be a ghost or apparition, held to be responsible for unexplained noises.
In use: “They thought it was a polterfloof banging on the window, because every time they checked the window, nothing was there. But the camera showed it was a young white cat banging on the window and then running away when they came out. With a little patience and kibble, they captured the little goof and gave him a home. He always continued his polterfloof ways, though.”
Michael Seidel, writer 