Tag: floofinition

Floof Generis

Floof Generis (floofinition) – One of a kind sort of animal, which can be decided by personality, appearance, or actions. Origin: early 1900s, middle Floofinus influences.

In Use: “Camilla was a floof generis, understanding her human’s needs before a word was said, silently rushing off to bring Colleen her cell phone before it rang, opening the refrigerator to bring back a beer, fetching newspapers and books, and of course, slippers and blankets.”

In Use: “The relationship between the child, crow, cat, and dog was so floof generis that videos of it stormed through social media.”

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Floofcronym

Floofcronym (floofinition) – Another name given to an animal based on the initials of words being used to describe their looks, personality, or behavior. Origins: 1940, first noted in Greece.

In Use: “The kitten was formerly known as Princess Go-Lucky, but soon became referred to more often as SAFT — Small and Fast Thief — with a penchant for stealing chips, cheese, and doughnuts whenever someone turned their back on their food.”

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Snoozaflooflooza

Snoozaflooflooza (floofinition) – An ongoing celebration of sleep which many animals participate in. Origins: unknown, believed by floofologist to predate human history.

In Use: “Not knowing that her cats had decided to join snoozaflooflooza this year, Judi worried over how much the trio was sleeping, fearful that they had an illness.”

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Floofpers

Floofpers (floofinition) 1. A general term given by animals to the human collective that takes care of them. Origins: Worldwide web, late 1990s.

In Use: “Have some rough experiences as a puppy, Thor remained wary of the floofpers, whether they were offering pets, treats, shots, or shelter and friendship.”

2. Anyone who takes care of animals.

In Use: “Robert had never planned to be a floofpers, but as they often say, there’s a floof distribution system, and it usually delivers the right animal to the right person.”

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Treazooms

Treazooms (floofinition) – The excited and happy activities, such as racing around, dancing, and singing, animals exhibit when they receive or are going to be given a treat. Origins: 21st century Internet circa 2023.

In Use: “As soon as he brought out the treat pouch, Musk (no relation to Elon) went into protracted treazooms that covered the living room, dining room, and kitchen.”

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Joie de Floof

Joie de Floof (floofinition) – The intense joy or sense of vitality that an animal can deliver in a situation. Origins: France, 1889

In Use: “Gadget was a tripod but with a joie de floof that overwhelmed all in his sphere, and the videos of him soon had millions of hits.”

In Use: “After a tiring day, Duke’s singular joie de floof revitalized Dija and helped her shed the frustrations and irritations of that enforced pastime called ‘work’.”

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Floofpes

Floofpes (floofinition)– Internet slang. Literally, ‘floof tropes’, overused cliches and outmoded themes about animals. Origins: Worldwide Web, early twenty-first century.

In Use: “One floofpes children often heard as they grew up was that they were ‘fighting like cats and dogs’, which many of them doubt as they see videos or personally witness dogs and cats getting along very well.”

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Neofloofthic

Neofloofthic (floofinition)– Belonging to a previous animal and now outmoded. Origins: 1865, Sir John Floofbock.

In Use: “She thought that the dog’s toys were neofloofthic relics of another era when she began taking care of her daughter’s cat for two weeks but on the first day, the cat was attacking everything that the dog used to play with.”

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Pecfloofniary

Pecfloofniary (floofinition) – Of or related to the money spent on an animal, or an animal’s worth.

In Use: “After Jared spent money on his floof’s medical needs, many people focused on the situation’s pecfloofniary aspect, but to him, his dog’s companionship was priceless, and he would prostitute himself if it brought in the money for his dog’s medicine, surgery, and x-rays.”

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The Facebook Duality

I shared one of my posts to Facebook the other day. I often used to do so, inviting friends and family to ‘see what I’m up to’.

Facebook informed me that it had been blocked as spam. It was the second time in as many months that they labeled one of my posts as spam, claiming something like, I was posting it or sharing it just to get likes.

The nerve.

This happened to be a Floofinition, one of my silly pursuits. Of course I was posting it on Facebook for likes. Why does Facebook think people post on their social media accounts? Likes is one of many reasons for sharing things on Facebook, but they used to encourage me to do just that.

I protested their unilateral condemnation of my post, but my protest is limited in scope to their pre-canned reasons for doing so. And those are flawed and incomplete. It assumes a set of paradigms which frankly just displays how fucking lost thy are. And after I completed that, I thought, I never heard anything back from them about that one last month.

No, you never do. They reach out like some hidden Gods, do their thing, and then watch us like we’re ants running around after their anthill is damaged.

That pissed me off.

The clincher came the next day. It was like, “Michael, here’s a memory of something you posted before! Share it to remind others.” So sweet. So friendly.

And yeah, it was one of my floofinitions. Like the one they condemned as spam and removed for being posted to get likes.

Well, fuck you, Facebook. I’m done with you and your capricious two-faced arrogance. They are already a repository of right-wing memes and misinformation, so they were treading on my last nerve before. I know, they’re quivering back at Meta headquarters, wailing that they’ve alienated me and lost my support. “Oh, boo hoo. We lost Michael. Woe is us.”

That’s okay. It makes me feel better. Just as their community used to do. It’s like they say, the more things change, the more they go to shit.

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