Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Nihfloofism (floofinition) – Viewpoint that existence is senseless and useless without an animal’s companionship. Origins: 1812, Floofman Nihfloofsmus, from the Flooftin.
In Use: “Without recognizing it, nihfloofism creeps into their life as they find a floof friend who becomes their best and most consistent, trusted friend.”
In Use: “Marco soon realized that nihfloofism dominated his mother’s existence, and was slowly overtaking his own life after he rescued a kitten he named Toby.”
Monday’s floof has a pretty face.
Tuesday’s floof likes to run and race.
The floof born on Wednesday has an appetite for love,
While a floof coming to life on Thursday is a gift from above.
Friday’s floof is fond of the sun,
And Saturday’s floof exists just for fun.
But Sunday’s floof has a little of all,
Enjoying life and having a ball.
-Ancient Floofverb
Floofymoon (floofinition) – 1. A lunar event that seems to make animals more energetic or active.Origins: Internet, early 2000s.
In Use: “Bristol couldn’t see the moon because of clouds (and he never looked up at the moon anyway, and privately wondered why that was), but he figured whateverI it was, it was a floofymoon, because the three rescue floofs (they’d chosen him) were rebellious and rambunctious in everyway imaginable, knocking things off the desk, kitchen counter, bedroom dresser, and bathroom counter! It was a night of madness and then they slept like angels.”
2. Short time when all animals or people and animals are getting along well.
In Use: “Most of the time, Bats and Snacks went at it like Steelers playing the Browns, so there was mega levels of barking, hissing, growling, and running 1440 minutes a day, but once in a while, a floofymoon gently landed, and the dog and cat groomed each other and napped together.”
Floofroad (floofinition) – 1. The path taken by an individual to meet an animal, or vice versa. Origins: early 21st century Internet.
In Use: “Mark’s normal floofroad for finding strays is just to open the front door. It’s like, if he opens the door, they will come. And he can never turn any away.”
In Use: “Many people’s floofroad to a new floof addition to their home begins with a visit to an animal shelter, but more frequently in this Internet age, the floofroad begins on social media.”
2. The course an animal takes to get from point to point.
In Use: “Papi’s floofroad is never straightforward, as he engages serpentine routes to go from door to door — except when he’s heading for his food bowl. Then he’s like an arrow shot from a bow.”
Flooflial (floofinition) – Relating to, befitting, or of an animal. Origins: From the flooftin, floofius.
In Use: “Many people must address their flooflial obligations when they’re planning vacations or hosting gatherings.”
In Use: “Paul Santell developed a flooflial routine, carrying food to feed strays, eventually feeding and saving thousands of cats.”
Hidenget (floofinition) – Game played by animals, and sometimes by humans and animals. Fluid rules allow many variations, but the basic tenet is that one will hide and then spring out on the other. Origins: unknown, but observed and videotaped in many homes around the world in the 21st century.
In use: “Michael and Papi love playing hidenget in the morning, with the ginger floof racing off and ducking behind something as Michael breaks off chase and hides. Watching each other, they sneak out and then run towards the other’s position, and one will then chase the other around rooms and down halls.”
Floofitime (floofinition) 1. Time set aside or dedicated to an animal’s needs or activities. Originally used in US households in the 1980s.
In Use: “The dogs know that 6 PM meant the floofitime for their walk, and they weren’t concerned about no stinkin’ snowstorm.”
2. Of or relating to things associated with animals. First observed in Europe in the 1640s.
In Use: “The typical floofitime identifiers — cat and dog toys, beds, and feeding stations — immediately marked the home as a floof-friendly, or floendly, as Mom used to say, home.”
Sediflooftary (floofinition) – Locations, habits, or practices relating to, formed by, or containing animals. First used in 1760 in Italy, in A Roman’s Guide to Floofs (translated). One chapter was devoted to sediflooftary issues, with insights about how house animals become protective of their favortite sleeping locations and how people often honor these sediflooftary spots.
In use: “A sediflooftary dip revealed Tucker’s favorite sleeping location atop the back of the living room sofa.”
In use: “Upon investigating sounds arising from a small cardboard box, four sets of puppy eyes revealed the soaked container was sediflooftary.”
Michael Seidel, writer 