Just Sayin’

Feeling mad as a hatter, Skip bought a brand spanking new car. To his friends, it was a bolt out of the blue.

Checking it out, Clyde said, “What’s the four-one-one, Skip?”

“Yes,” Penelope said. “What, d’yer win the booby prize? Give us the straight skinny.”

“It’s my new jalopy,” Skip said, at one fell swoop gaining jaundiced looks. “I bought it, cash on the nail. I could only afford it by the skin of my teeth.”

Milly said, “You’re such a crack pot. Did you have to cook the books?”

“To coin a phrase, I think it’s a blot on the landscape,” Parnell said. “It’s the mutts’ nuts.”

Nodding, Tucker said, “Right on. Did you forget to use your loaf, Skip?”

“What’s with the third degree?” Skip wondered as Hester said, “I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but gag me with a spoon.”

“Fer sure, you’re barking mad, Skip,” Ethel said as Horatio said, “You’re such an airhead, Skipper. You bought a pig in the poke.”

Beaming, Skip replied, “Well, I think it’s the cat’s pajamas. It’s really groovy.”

Tucker rose. “That’s all well and good, but I need to catch some zzzs. I’m gonna skate.” Looking at Skip, he said, “Drop a dime when you’ve come back to earth, space cadet.”

“Word,” Ethel agreed as Clyde said, “Peace out,” and Milly said, “Mic drop.”

Watching his friends troop away, Skip said, “Well, I didn’t mean to upset the apple cart.” Leaning back in front of his ride, he took a selfie. “I’ll share it on the Cloud, and Facebook it, the whole shebang. Then, when people Google me, they’ll see my wheels.”

But first, he texted it to himself, and then went to veg out, pleased as punch. It was a new day, and the sky was the limit.

 

September Greetings

Hi writers. Yeah, it’s me. Yeah, again. Like a bad penny, right? Most people assume that the old chestnut about a bad penny refers to coin. It doesn’t. Bad Penney (correct spelling) was a murderer who terrorized several towns in England in the late eighteenth century. *

Chestnut, by the way, was a man known for his pithy sayings. That led to him being associated with sayings, and a saying about the man who created sayings, “That old Chestnut.”*

* Both of these are things I made up.

September has arrived, full of promise. Don’t know about you, but I’ve discovered that I’ve met my enemy and he is me. Identifying your enemy is always excellent progress. As humans we dislike the unknown. Making the enemy known helps establish concrete steps to address your differences of opinions and work to a healthy mutual understanding. Once my enemy and I are friends, I feel like I can make much more progress.

Who is your enemy in this September of 2018?

While you contemplate that, it’s time to write edit like crazy, at least one more time.

Appearances

A friend said he saw me walking through the Railroad District. “You looked like you were thinking, I bet I can flip that car over.”

I had a good laugh about that. He related a tale about his appearance. A friend had seen him at a grocery store’s produce section. Later, telling my buddy about it, said, “You looked like you were angry about something.”

My friend thought it over. “I was trying to find the garlic.”

Appearances. Not always what they seem.

New Fav Expression

I came in to order my coffee. It wasn’t necessary, as all the baristas know my drink. Meghan had been serving me over a year. “You give me deja vu everyday,” she said, laughing. “You know that, don’t you? You give me deja vu everyday.”

“What a cool statement,” I said. “You give me deja vu everyday.” It’s my new favorite statement. I think there’s a story in it, but then, I see and hear stories everywhere. Somewhere, maybe in another dimension, or a dream world (or is this the dream world?), or a future past or past future, I’m writing those other stories. If you want to get Far Out, maybe I’m writing your story. I am the writing god, writing the stories of our existence, unaware that it’s going on, because someone else is writing my story.

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