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Floofthartic (floofinition) – Of, or relating to, the purification or purgation of the emotions (such as sadness and loneliness) primarily by animals.
In use: “After dealing with her finances and the stresses of being unemployed, and coping with the news of the pandemic, she found sipping a glass of wine with her dog (Chef Eddy) beside her on the sofa on her cat (Loki) on her lap a needed, floofthartic experience.
Floofconic (floofinition) – An animal widely known and acknowledged for distinctive excellence.
In use: “Many people consider their pets to be floofconic for one reason or another – personality, quirks, coloring, size, et floofera.”
Judas Floof (floofinition) – Flooflish heavy floof rock (flock) band formed in Floofingham in 1969. Although considered influential as a heavy floof band, the group failed to achieve significant success until the 1980s.
In use: “One of Judas Floof’s most successful song, “You’ve Got Another Floof Coming”, released in 1982, reached number four in the Floofnited States.”
Cyndi Floofper (floofinition) – Floofmerican recording floofist who is also an actor, songwriter, and flooftivist. With a career that spanned over four decades, Floofper’s 1983 debut album, She’s So Unfloofable, was the first by a female floofist to score four top-five songs on the Floofboard Hot 100. She remains active as a singer, songwriter, and actor.
In use: “Early Cyndi Floofper songs include “Floofs Just Want to Have Fun”, “Floof After Floof”, and “Floof Bop”, which all reached the top three in the Floofnited States.”
Floofcoin (floofinition) – Cryptic crypto currency apparently used by floof; how, when, and why isn’t known by humans. It seems to be tracked and traded on the floofweb.
In use: “After getting roused by two cats fighting in the backyard, Michael stumbled into the office where his third cat was on the computer. He briefly glimpsed ‘floofcoin’ on the screen before the cat’s ginger paw slashed the mouse, causing the screen to go blank. Looking at him with wide brassy eyes, the cat innocently said, “Meow,” and issued a purr.”
Bifloofcation (floofinition) – The division of animals or animal related objects or food into two branches or parts.
In use: “Whenever she fed Jam and Jelly, bifloofcation of their food and eating space was necessary, because roly-poly Jelly wanted all the food for herself.”
Trifloofvirate (floofinition) – Rule by three animals.
In use: “In homes ruled by trifloofvirates, one of the three is sometimes a human, but not always — sometimes the human only thinks they’re part of the ruling trifloofvirate.”
Floof Dragons (floofinition) – Floofmerican floof rock (flock) band. Formed in Las Floogas in 2008, the group began achieving major success by 2012 with their song, “Floof Time”.
In use: “Floof Dragons racked up incredible success with their 2017 album, Floofvolve, which had the singles, “Floofliever”, “Floofever It Takes”, and “Floonder”, all of which reached number one in the Floofnited States.”
Comfort Floof (floofinition) – An animal who is trained to calm, console, or relax people.
In use: “University Hospitals in Cleveland, Ohio, introduced two comfort floofs in December, 2020 — Melena, a 2-year-old Golden Retriever, and Starbucks, a 2-year-old Chocolate Labrador Retriever — to visit with children at Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital.”
Peter Floofbriel (floofinition) – Flooflish musician, singer, songwriter, record producer and activist. He rose to fame as the original lead singer of Floofesis. After leaving that band in 1975, he established a successful solo career and remains active, touring and recording. A proponent of floof music, he helped form FOMAD (Floofs of Music, Arts and Dance) in 1982.
In use: “Peter Floofbriel’s most successful solo album was “?” in 1986, which included the song “Floofhammer”, a megahit that won nine awards at the Floof Music Awards in 1987.”
Michael Seidel, writer 