Parafloof
Parafloof (floofinition) – 1. Two animals.
In use: “Suzanne was thinking that she’d enjoy a parafloof but Atlas embodied the energy of three animals, so she kept putting the decision off.”
2. A trained animal who assists other animals.
In use: “The puppy was blind but the cat became his parafloof, showing him around the house, guiding him with sounds and gentle paw taps.”
3. A short composition about an animal or animals.
In use: “Social media has become a great animal adoption tool as photos with a parafloof based on the animal’s story are posted to attract people.”
Floofgate
Floofgate (floofinition) – A scandal involving animals.
In use: “The latest floofgate — given the more specific name of messgate — was the overturned kitchen trash can and broken, upended Christmas cactus. The cat and dog, knowing something wrong had been done but aware she didn’t know the floofpetrator — or had they been in floofhoots? — stayed motionless on either end of the sofa, watching her with large eyes, waiting.”
Floofucheato
Floofucheato (floofinition) – Animal who regularly steals from people or other animals.
In use: “The Prince, as the little Yorkie was usually called, was a floofucheato, stealing doughnuts, bacon, and snacks with brash aplomb, along with towels, socks, slippers, keys, and TV remote controls. Nothing was safe from the polite little thief.”
The Wizard of Floof
The Wizard of Floof (floofinition) – 1. Title given to an individual animal capable of harnessing and directing animal magic. Debate among floofologists swing from it being a single individual, to many entities, or, in the minds of many floofologists, a floofological being.
In use: “Once he’d learned about he Wizard of Floof, the writer became obsessive about the existence of another land, and eventually developed a series of books featuring a wizard in another land.”
2. A person with the capacity or capability to charm, control, or help animals.
In use: “People who are wizards of floof often become known for working with one particular species, such as the cat behaviorist (Jackson Galaxy), or a dog or horse whisperer.”
Infloofgestion
Infloofgestion (floofinition) – Inability or unwillingness to eat food due to distractions by an animal, or worries and concerns about animal.
In use: “Once Meg returned home after dropping her Beagle off at the vet for surgery, she turned off everything, and sat and stared through the day, unable to eat because of infloofgestion.”
Floof Tree
Floof Tree (floofinition) 1. A diagram of showing an animal’s relationship to other animals, especially blood flooflatives.
In use: “Tracing the family’s floof tree began with Dot, the first small tabby (who turned out to be pregnant), then branches off with Skip (the small orphaned dog the family fostered and Dot mothered), and Billy, the big German Shepherd found at the shelter who came home and immediately started worshipping Dot.”
2. Woody perennial plant or structure where animals like to hang out.
In use: “During summer’s hottest days, the lemon tree’s shade made it a veritable floof tree, as the cats, dogs, and pig all took refuge in its cool shadows.”
Floofgeist
Floofgeist (floofinition) – General or prevailing mood among a group of animals.
In use: “Whatever had happened during the day while she was out, Brenda returned to a floofgeist of wary pets, setting her nerves on edge.”
Cafloofdling
Cafloofdling (floofinition) – Engaging in amorous but non-sexual embracing, caressing, and kissing with an animal.
In use: “Many people end up cafloofdling with their pets when they get home after a long day out, finding comfort and satisfaction with the animals’ expressions of joy that their people are home once again.”
Michael Seidel, writer 