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Debutfloof (floofinition) – A young animal being newly introduced to an animal or human society.
In use: “A famous fictional debutfloof occurred in the The Lion King, but many found Fiona, a hippo born in the Cincinnati Zoo in 2017, an equally charming debutfloof.”
Neighborfloof (floofinition) – Animal that lives close to a particular house or location.
In use: “Neighborfloofs included a deer and her twin fawns, the new gray and white cat (name unknown) with a purple collar that seemed to live with the people two houses down who just moved in, an active grey squirrel and trio of jays who were always bickering, the little yapping dog (name unknown, despite repeated orders from his people for him to stop barking), and the black bear that liked to come by for the apples on the tree, where he’d take a nap after eating.”
Floofinese (floofinition) – Type of communication and language that humans employ with other species, especially pets and animals which they find cute or sweet.
In use: “Seeing the fawn, which seemed like it may have been born in the last hour — so small and delicate — she went into full floofinese, with a goofy tone normally used with babies, telling the fawn how pretty it was as the little animal stared blankly back.”
Floofitone (floofinition) – 1. Sound reminiscent of or similar to an animal in distress.
In use: “Hearing what could be a crying animal (maybe a cat), he went outside, but it turned out to be a floofitone caused by a gate open and closed by the wind.”
2. A phone ring sound used to denote an incoming call or message.
In use: “Her phone yipped — the floofitone she employed since acquiring her rescue puppy, aka Hercules — signaling a call from her daughter. Were it her ex-husband, the floofitone was a grunting pig (and for her other ex-husband, the sound was a gibbering monkey), but those were part of another day, another story, another life.”
Stereofloofic (floofinition) – Sound received from two or more disparate animals sources. When four sources exist, the sound is commonly referred to as quadrafloofic while source from one animal is known as monofloofic.
In use: “With a cat purring on either side of his head, Michael was treated to a stereofloofic session as he drifted back to sleep.”
Aflooftypmatic (floofinition) – Someone who shows no signs of having contact with animals.
In use: “Many people without pets are aflooftypmatic, showing up at work without fur (some call it hair) on their clothing, remaining quiet as others share floofnecdotes.”
Floofposter (floofinition) – Someone who writes or shares information about animals on the web.
In use: “With all the dispiriting news about pandemics, wars, fires, flooding, hurricanes, droughts, and politics, many people are drawn to floofposter sits where information is shared about animals demonstrating love and intelligence across the lines of species.”
Floofpitulate (floofinition) – To give in to an animal or to accept an animal’s choice or decision.
In use: “He wanted to get up but the cat wanted to remain in his lap, so he floofpitulated and took a nap.”
Unfloofgivable (floofinition) – 1. An animal that can’t be given away.
In use: “They called the puppy, part of a litter of rescued orphans, Smuckers, a name given by their youngest boy. He was supposed to be fostered, but Smuckers turned out to be unfloofgivable, remaining with the family for his life.”
2. An action or behavior toward an animal that can’t be accepted or tolerated.
In use: “As the Internet reveals videos of despicable treatment of animals, more activities once accepted as routine or normal, such as puppy mills, are now being blasted as unfloofgivable.”
3. Action by a human, especially a pet owner, deemed unacceptable by a pet.
In use: “The cat wanted bacon and wasn’t given any, unfloofgivable to her. In retaliation, she walked about, jumping up onto floofboten counters, knocking things off, nipping at ankles when people passed, and loudly meowing in complaint.”
Lollapafloofza (floofinition) – Four day private festival of animals, for animals.
In use: “Cats and dogs often disappear for a day or two during Lollapafloofza, worrying pet owners, but they generally safely return, leaving the owners to wonder where their pets have been.”
Michael Seidel, writer 