Prefloofpitation (floofinition) – Moisture thrown off by an animal.
In use: “Coming in from outside with a snow covered back, the dog shook, filling the room with prefloofpitation.”
Door Floof
Door Floof (floofinition) – Animal obsessed with doors.
In use: “Tucker could not stand a closed door. Pantry, front, closet, the door floof liked to stand beside whatever closed door he encountered and demand the door be opened for him to look within. What humans didn’t understand was that he was checking for invaders from other dimensions. He didn’t want to do it, but it was his duty.”
Libflooftarian
Libflooftarian (floofinition) 1. Animal who enjoys minimum supervision, rules, or intervention by others.
In use: “Many cats are natural libflooftarians, eschewing assistance and ignoring rules, going wherever they want, doing whatever they wish.”
2. Movement which upholds maximum freedom for animals.
In use: “Libflooftarians stand against caged chickens, pigs, and cows, applauding such laws Proposition 12 passed in California in 2018, which requires animals be given enough space to stand and turn around, as a first decent step.”
Schrödinger’s Floof
Schrödinger’s Floof (floofinition) – A pet who may or may not hear their name being called and who may or may not respond.
In use: “Every cat he ever had seemed to be Schrödinger’s floof, but that never deterred him from walking around shouting their name, although it did exasperate him and cause him to swear.”
Floofnosticate
Floofnosticate (floofinition) – An animal’s ability to foretell events.
In use: “When the cat jumped up on the counter and began stalking items, the dog sat up with a soft, “Ruff,” and watched in amusement, floofnosticating that the cat was going to knock things over and get into trouble.”
Flooftoon
Flooftoon (floofinition) – Drawings of animals depicting them expressing funny views or in humorous situations. Cartoons may be a series of drawings or animated.
In use: “Christmas trees and ornaments prompt many flooftoons about pets’ reactions to the holiday decorations, i.e., a dog complaining that he’s not allowed to have a stick in the house but people have brought in an entire tree, or a cat plotting to attack and destroy the tree and its decorations.”
Infloofture
Infloofture (floofinition) – To be emotionally or spiritually in debt to an animal.
In use: “She was inflooftured to the small rescue dog, a white thing of uncertain breeds with a perpetual smile, for he calmed her son whenever he was frightened, anxious, or upset, going to the boy before anyone else even knew what was wrong and then just sitting with him, leaning against him, reassuring him that someone was there.”
Floofersonic
Floofersonic (floofinition) – An animal who appears to be faster than sound, a deception animals can foster by utilizing quantum motion to travel, one of many methods which animals employ to keep humans confused.
In use: “Trying to find where her dog was by following his manic barking, Brenda mused the beast had become floofersonic. By the time she found him, he was in the sofa seat that she’d vacated to go search for him.”
Floof Fever
Floof Fever (floofinition) – Relaxed, euphoric human state caused by concern or love for animals.
In use: “People with advanced floof fever are happy to stay at home with their pets, very often passing the time napping, reading, writing, baking, or eating – or some combination of these things.”
Orifloofi
Orifloofi (floofinition) – Process that animals use to contort themselves to fit into small places or to snooze.
In use: “Doing orifloofi as part of their development, the five kittens managed to fit themselves into one small bowl for a nap.”
Michael Seidel, writer 