Of the Floof Kind
He pads through the house though there’s little light,
Making little sound.
Confirming everything is alright,
Unwilling to let his people down.
Then he returns to the beds,
Checking everyone’s heads,
Reassuring himself that they’re fine.
And has a little to eat,
And then, relaxing, goes to sleep,
Doing the work of a floof kind.
Flooftonia
Flooftonia (floofinition) – Pain or movement disorder caused by immobility or odd positions brought on by sleeping with an animal.
In use: “He’d slept with his head awkwardly canted because he didn’t want to disturb the cat nestled against it, so a fit of flooftonia was afflicting his neck and shoulder.”
Floofsbody
Floofsbody (floofinition) – A person, gofer, or dogsbody who must do boring, menial tasks for animals.
In use: “Most people who live with floofs become a floofsbody, taking care of their bedding, cleaning and replenishing their food and water bowls, brushing their fur, and so on, as if their floof is their master and they are the servant.”
UFP
UFP: Unexpected Floof Presence (floofinition) — Condition where an animal shows up or gets involved without any announcement or invitation.
In use: “Clipping his toenails was stalled by UFP when his cat, Tucker, came over and started rubbing against his hand holding the toenail clippers and then started rolling around on his foot.”
Floofagogy
Floofagogy (floofinition) – The science and art of teaching animals.
In use: “After he was rescued, Buddy Guy, a big tabby Tom, acquired knowledge of floofagogy and started instructing kittens and ferals being fostered by his new human about how to be a cat living with people.”
Superflooficial
Superflooficial (floofinition) – Of, or relating to, an animal, particularly a housepet or pet.
In use: “In many superflooficial households, ‘cat trees’ for their felines are prominent, and beds and special furniture, such as smal armchairs, is provided for the household’s cats and dogs’ comfort.”
Proflooftism
Proflooftism (floofinition) – An attitude toward animals dominated by desires and efforts to improve animals’ circumstances and improve conditions for animals even if such activities diminish human’s control over animals or challenges cultural traditions.
In use: “With the advent and rise of proflooftism, nations are being urged to eliminate sport or trophy hunting, and cruel sports such as bullfighting and cockfighting.”
Super Floof
“Away,” the floof cried with a flashing leap,
Traveling faster than their paws.
Their antics amaze us, they are so stupendous,
We literally drop our jaws.
They dash into the room and look around,
Then they’re off again with a single bound.
A super floof in their own eyes,
Super cat, super duper dog, they try to prove they can fly.
And when they wear out all their speed,
They bring their empty tummies to us to fill their needs.
Michael Seidel, writer 