Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Flooftonia (floofinition) – Pain or movement disorder caused by immobility or odd positions brought on by sleeping with an animal.
In use: “He’d slept with his head awkwardly canted because he didn’t want to disturb the cat nestled against it, so a fit of flooftonia was afflicting his neck and shoulder.”
Floofsbody (floofinition) – A person, gofer, or dogsbody who must do boring, menial tasks for animals.
In use: “Most people who live with floofs become a floofsbody, taking care of their bedding, cleaning and replenishing their food and water bowls, brushing their fur, and so on, as if their floof is their master and they are the servant.”
UFP: Unexpected Floof Presence (floofinition) — Condition where an animal shows up or gets involved without any announcement or invitation.
In use: “Clipping his toenails was stalled by UFP when his cat, Tucker, came over and started rubbing against his hand holding the toenail clippers and then started rolling around on his foot.”
Floofagogy (floofinition) – The science and art of teaching animals.
In use: “After he was rescued, Buddy Guy, a big tabby Tom, acquired knowledge of floofagogy and started instructing kittens and ferals being fostered by his new human about how to be a cat living with people.”
Superflooficial (floofinition) – Of, or relating to, an animal, particularly a housepet or pet.
In use: “In many superflooficial households, ‘cat trees’ for their felines are prominent, and beds and special furniture, such as smal armchairs, is provided for the household’s cats and dogs’ comfort.”
Proflooftism (floofinition) – An attitude toward animals dominated by desires and efforts to improve animals’ circumstances and improve conditions for animals even if such activities diminish human’s control over animals or challenges cultural traditions.
In use: “With the advent and rise of proflooftism, nations are being urged to eliminate sport or trophy hunting, and cruel sports such as bullfighting and cockfighting.”
“Away,” the floof cried with a flashing leap,
Traveling faster than their paws.
Their antics amaze us, they are so stupendous,
We literally drop our jaws.
They dash into the room and look around,
Then they’re off again with a single bound.
A super floof in their own eyes,
Super cat, super duper dog, they try to prove they can fly.
And when they wear out all their speed,
They bring their empty tummies to us to fill their needs.
A small floof,
Who liked to goof,
Was such a funny one.
She liked her people’s bed,
And being scratched on the head,
But really loved the sun.
Kibble was tasty.
And she never ate hasty,
Nor was other food shunned.
Then it was off to sleep,
Another day to keep,
And dreams about all that she’d done.
Flooping (floofinition) – To follow an animal or to repeatedly circle back to an animal to check on its health or to play with it.
In use: “He was supposed to leae for work at 7, but his dog was sick, so he called in sick, staying home and flooping back throughout the morning to his pet to see how she was doing.”
Michael Seidel, writer 