Haifloof #43
Floofhenge
Floofhenge (floofinition) – Prehistoric monument visible only to those with quantum eyesight, floofhenge represents a period when animals ruled the Earth in harmony. The peace ended when humans were permitted to come to Earth from their world via an entrance at floofhenge. Many floofologists theorize that the animals brought humans here to save them because they were destroying their own world. Others say the humans slipped through as the animals paused at the open door to think about which way they wanted to go. (Some blame the cats.) A human artifice called Stonehenge was built in an attempt to create the same quantum doorway, but humans lack animals’ quantum knowledge, and the effort failed.
In use: “With the eagle flying overhead, and a wolf and lion on either side of her, a cat, dog, and fox led her between two trees into a glade where tall stones were lit like blue stars. The dog turned to her and said, “This is floofhenge.””
Floofviance
Floofviance (floofinition) – 1. Changing routines to accommodate a pet’s behavior, presence, or condition. 2. A pet’s action or behavior that violates the household rules.
In use: “Tail wagging, Samwise rounded the corner and trotted toward Becky. Leaping up without a sound, Pearljam swatted Samwise’s nose. As the beagle yelped and darted back, Becky grabbed the squirt gun and prepared to address Pearljam’s floofviance.”
Floofmoxed
Floofmoxed (floofinition) – 1. To bewilder or confuse an animal. 2. Being confused by a housepet.
In use: “Seeing her twin sister for the first time, Bear sat back, floofmoxed, and cautiously sniffed as the two women laughed from the room’s opposite ends.”
Profloofetary
Profloofetary (floofinition) – Belonging to one or more floofs.
In use: “She’d bought a new office chair, but it was made profloofetary by her cats and dogs, so the old chair had to do.”
Bamfloofzled
Bamfloofzled (floofinition) – Being outsmarted or tricked by an animal or animals working in concert.
In use: “As the dog made a noise in a kitchen, Nancy set her plate of food down and went to see had happened. The cat immediately jumped up, seized food in her mouth and dashed off to share it with the dog. Returning, Nancy saw her missing food and sighed. Yes, she’d been bamfloofzled.”
Dribblefloof
Dribblefloof (floofinition) – A housepet who seems to leave a messy trail behind them.
In Use: “It was easy to see when Boo had been eating, as the big beast was a dribblefloof who took the food from his bowl to eat it, and dropped leavings out of his mouth as he walked away.”
Michael Seidel, writer 