Floofears

Floofears (floofinition) – A unique hearing capability among pets that allow them to hear cans and refrigerator doors opening, rattling kibble, and package rustling, often from amazingly far distances and frequently through walls and doors.

In use: “Opening a can of food for one cat pestering him, a scratching at the door pulled his attention. Staring in through the window beside the front door, the cat meowed at him. Shaking his head, he went to the door to open it and let the cat in to be fed, even as he marveled at their floofears.”

July 28, 2019 3

Floofsuasive

Floofsuasive (floofinition) – Sound, expressions, and behavior that pets employ to gain attention and move others to give them things such as food, treats, and attention.

In use: “One cat employs a sad, drawn out meow that really conveys his deep levels of suffering and deprivation, a combination that’s always floofsuasive.”

July 27, 2019 0

Zorofloof

Zorofloof (floofinition) – Pets who are manifestations of a supreme deity that come into being to deliver progressively deeper and more insightful knowledge about reality’s nature to Earth’s inhabitants.

In use: “She couldn’t explain it, but her cat’s presence calmed her while enabling deeper thinking and sharper, clearer memories. When she mentioned this to a friend, he smiled. “Zorofloof.” His expression, tone, and soft volume reflected the introduction to something more enigmatic.”

July 26, 2019 0

Haifloof #45

July 26, 2019 2

Haifloof #44

July 24, 2019 0

Stimflooflus

Stimflooflus (floofinition) – 1. Something done by a pet or animal that rouses or incites to activity, such as howls, growls, yowls, meows, and barks, or running. 2. Activity, sound, or command that rouses or incites an animal’s actions.

In use: “A howl was followed by frantic barking, stimflooflus to her getting out of bed, because Lennon was warning her, someone is coming to the door.”

July 24, 2019 3

Telefloofic

Telefloofic (floofinition) – a pet with an appearance and manner that are markedly attractive to television viewers.

In use: “Tardar Sauce, nicknamed Grumpy Cat, was a telefloofic animal who always seemed to be disapproving of the world.”

July 23, 2019 0

Floofup

Floofup (alternative spelling: floof-up) (floofinition) – 1. A mistake or error made by a housepet. 2. A human error or mistake caused by a housepet’s activity.

In use: “She swung the front door closed and hurried away, eager to open her package. In an instant, she realized that she didn’t hear a click from the door. As she turned back, the dog shouldered the door open and darted out. Shouting his name, she took off after him even as the floofup’s magnitude began growing in her mind.”

July 22, 2019 0

Floofworld

Floofworld (floofinition) – a secret, non-profit vacation resort where people can interact with animals. Entrance to Floofworld is by invitation only, but people must log on and ask for an invitation, a strategy to protect Floofworld and its occupants.

In use: “Thomas took a deep breath, let it out, and sat back. After a decade of arcane research, he’d found the URL for Floofworld. Rumors always circulated that at least a pair of every animal that’d ever lived still existed in Floofworld, and that it wasn’t located on Earth. Grinning, Thomas clicked on the button to create an account.”

July 21, 2019 0

FloofAnon

FloofAnon (floofinition) – anonymous secret organization whose members believe that housepets are either secret government spies tracking their movement, aliens who have arrived to take over Earth, or that pets are part of a liberal plot to destroy their lives by distracting them from reality. Such members also often believe that animals should have no rights because they’re dumb and lack emotions.

In use: “Per the information she read at FloofAnon, she constantly watched the house across the street through monitors connected to cameras (bought at Costco, just five hundred dollars for eight outdoor cameras, what a buy!), noting the comings and goings of the cats and dogs, and logging them on her blog, Floofwatch.”