Flooforous (floofintion) – a pleasant sound made by a housepet.
In use: “Daisy’s flooforous barking announced how happy the golden retriever was to see him.”
Floofclectic
Floofclectic (floofinition) – a housepet with unusual markings.
In use: “He called her Heinz because the sweet, floofclectic feline appeared, in his words, to be half-Siamese, half-Maine Coon, with a black short-hair tabby tail, some calico and European blotched tabby markings in her hips, and big ginger paws. Her eyes were almond-shaped sapphires, her meow was a strident grunt, and her purr was a drowning gurgle, but, damn, she was smart.”
Suspicious Animals
You ever see a cat or dog that you don’t know staring at you like, “I know him. Where do I know him from?”
I tell them, maybe you met my doppelganger in another dimension, or we know each other from a past life.
They’re always like, “Yeah. Maybe.”
But they always look like they’re suspicious, like I’m trying to hide something from them.
As if.
Floofception
Floofception (floofinition) – the act of deceiving a housepet; the act of causing a housepet to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid.
In use: “Floofception is offered required when dealing with houspets. For example, to draw his cats out of hiding, David often shook the kibble box, leading the cats to believe they were about to be fed.”
Lafloofchezia
Lafloofchezia (floofinition) – The use of vulgar or foul language with a housepet to relieve stress or pain.
In use: “The cat was sprawled on its back on the floor, its silky belly exposed to the sun. Naturally, Cheryl thought it was safe to give the cat a tummy rub. A split second later, the cat had scratched her arm and hand, and she was sitting back, delivering lafloofchezia.”
Conflooferacy
Conflooferacy (floofinition) – a league or alliance between housepets for some purpose.
In use: “Recognizing one another’s skill sets and how they could help one another, the cats and dogs established a conflooferacy. For example, a cat could jump up, hang from the door handle and turn it while a dog pushed the door open, allowing them all to escape as the bird stood lookout and called out warnings.”
Obfloofurate
Obfloofurate (floofinition) – a housepet who is stubbornly persistent in wrongdoing.
In use: “Although he moved the doughnuts and sprayed Crystal with water to dissuade her, the little Bombay Black with golden eyes and velvet fur was an obfloofurate miscreant, constantly stealing and eating his mini powdered-sugar doughnuts.”
Floofumbra
Floofumbra (floofinition) – a housepet that shadows you from a short distance.
In use: “The little Corgi was a floofumbra, following him from space to space in the house, but stopping at the entries to watch and guard him from across the room.”
Floofathon
Floofathon (floofinition) – a housepet’s race around the house, usually on an erratic course, and often at bewilderingly high speeds, typically lasting for several minutes, and usually with uncertain origins or causes; something (such as an event, activity, or session) characterized by a housepet’s great concentrated effort.
In use: “In an impressive floofathon that lasted over an hour, the four cats gathered at the window and watched the noisy little sparrows at the bird feeder.”
Floofmotic
Floofmotic (floofinition) – of or relating to common housepets, especially their speech.
In use: “When it came to her pets, she took a gothic, floofmotic approach, dropping to her hands and knees to bark, purr, whine and mew.”
Michael Seidel, writer 