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Floofxiety (floofinition) – worrying about a housepet; a housepet’s worry about a noise, activity, or another animal.
In use: “He was on vacation, staying at a lovely beach house, but floofxiety flooded him when he heard about a wildfire near his town. He didn’t care if he lost his house or its contents. He just wanted to ensure his cats and dogs were safe.”
Floofgry (floofintion) – a hungry, drowsy look that housepets use when they’ve been asleep and are awakened by the sound of an opening container.
In use: “Hearing him open a new package of toilet paper, the small orange tabby raised his head and favored him with a floofgry look.”
Quadrafloof (floofinition) – surrounded by four housepets.
In use: “Quadrafloof was the normal situation when he and his wife settled down in the evening. The cats took the laps, the dog took an end, and the bird took a shoulder. Then, eating popcorn and watching a movie was the standard practice until the popcorn was gone, all were asleep, and the television went on with its broadcasting.”
Foot-floof (floofinition) – a housepet who likes to sit or lay on someone’s foot or feet as part of their expression of affection.
In use: “He didn’t know where and how they’d learn it but whenever he stopped, the dog sat on one foot and the cat sat on the other, rendering it impossible to ignore them. He believed that was the plan. They never got on his lap; they always were on a foot, originating their nickname, the foot-floofs.”
Subfloofinal (floofinition) – a housepet’s ability to do something without people noticing.
In use: “Despite her awareness that the cats were fond of stealing food off her plate and had dibs on anything brought into the house, she put her plate on the table beside her and sat down to read. When she did, her Bombay Black employed subfloofinal tactics to steal several pieces and take them to the floor, where she and the other two cats happily devoured them.”
Misfloofievous (floofinition) – irresponsibly playful housepet; a housepet who’s playful in a naughty, teasing way.
In use: “Smart and misfloofievous, the black lab quickly understood the people’s patterns and habits. Being people of habit, they retired to the den to watch television in the evenings. As soon as one went that direction, she raced ahead, found the remote control, picked it up in her and began a game of keep-away. She was always pulling floofnanigans.”
Obfloofiate (floofinition) – to anticipate or prevent and eliminate a housepet’s plans.
In use: “Knowing that as soon as she left that a housepet would be on her food, she obfloofiated their intentions by putting her sandwich into the refrigerator
Floofal Vortex (floofinition) – a large mass of housepets sleeping or lounging together.
In use: “The large Great Dane sprawled across the sofa. Sleeping in winter sunshine under the window, he soon became part of a floofal vortex as the foster kittens and Corgis slumbered on top of or alongside him.”
Floofturn (floofinition) – a housepet quick turn in which the animal doubles back in one or two steps.
In use: “Pogo was heading for the pet door, but when Sandra opened the refrigerator, Pogo executed a floofturn and jogged to the kitchen.”
Floofhold (floofinition) –
1. A tenuous grasp on a housepet.
2. A housepet’s tenous grip on an object.
3. Delaying an event or an activity due to a housepet’s situation or location.
In use: “He wanted to vacuum the house, but, not wanting to disturb the sleeping cats and dogs, was forced into a floofhold.”
Michael Seidel, writer 