Infloofition(floofinition) – The ability to know without direct evidence, rational thought, or inference, what an animal will do. Origins: Middle Flooflish, from the Flooftin, first noted use in 1600.
In Use: “Connie’s infloofition caused her to sigh, put down her novel, and head for the door. Rascal had gone out through the pet door six minutes before, and a fight was overdue.”
In Use: “Taylor put their plate down and went to fetch a glass of tea when infloofition made them rush back to their food just as Munchkin arrived to make it hers.”
Floofracious(floofinition) One with a huge appetite for animal companionship or presence. Origins: 1635, Europe.
In Use: “A floofracious young person with a menagerie of rescued animals, birds, and lizards, few were surprised when Chase took her inheritance and began an animal rescue operation.”
In Use: “Suffering from animal-related allergies, Dovante turned to art to help satisfy his floofracious needs, painting animal portraits (flooftraits, he termed them), and photographing animals whenever possible.”
I was walking past several parks today. People were out with their dogs, always in the shade, playing.
One shaggy-haired young man looked like he was in his mid-twenties. His canine companion looked old and out of shape. The guy lightly throw a Frisbee. The dog galloped after it. After twenty feet, the dog stopped and turned around, looking for the disc. It sailed over his head and landed four or five feet behind him.
“Behind you,” the man called to the dog. Turning around, the dog saw the Frisbee. Picking it up in his jaws, he trotted back, but stopped four feet away and settled down in green shade.
“Drink water,” the guy said.
The dog went to a water bowl and took a few sloppy laps. “Bring me the toy,” the man said.
Doing as told, the dog brought it over and put it on his man’s feet.
“Ready?” the man asked.
Watching him, the dog began jogging away. The Frisbee was launched. The dog ran out, stopped, and turned around as the Frisbee landed behind him.
Flooferitus(floofinition)– An animal retired from professional life or special position but allowed to retain as an honorary title the rank of the last office/position held.
In Use: “Candy ruled the house until Morty arrived when Candy was older, but Candy remained the Queen Flooferitus until her final day.”
In Use: “Chester tried to shift T Rex into an flooferitus but T’s stony stare and throaty glare gave the youngster second thoughts.”
Floofstulfying(floofinition) – The dulling or inhibiting effect an animal may have on others. Origins: 2020, United States (Internet), first noted during the COVID19 pandemic.
“In Use: “People who began working at home during the pandemic learned firsthand of floofstulfying as their pets came around and undermined their work effort.”
In Use: Awakening with a zest for work, floofstulfying overtook Pam’s plans as she played with the rescue kittens.”
In Use: “Productivity is sometimes compromised by floofstulfying as people watch videos of animals on the net.”
Floofdant (floofinition) – 1. Person who is always telling stories or sharing facts about animals.
In Use: “A foster mother for kittens, puppies, birds — just ’bout any critter except humans — Jen could easily be drawn into being a floofdant via a question like, ‘How are you animals doing?'”
2. An animal who insists on doing things the same way every time, not moving until the matter is corrected.
In Use: “Queen Precious was a floofdant who demanded her food bowl be positioned just so, along with her bed, insisting that everyone go to the bed at the same time every night, becoming annoyed and vocal if this wasn’t observed.”
Heading into a store, I encountered a woman standing to one said, leash in hand. On the leash’s other end was a handsome but elderly golden retriever, sitting and yawning. I said good morning to her and then addressed the dog, “What a handsome, yawning puppy.”
Without a beat passing, the woman replied, “I’ll let him know what you said.”
Flooftective (floofinition) – 1. An animal who enjoys investigating things and resolving mysteries. Origins: first noted in Europe in 1732.
In Use: “Tobias the cat and Josh the dog were both flooftectives, so any household activity drew the pair in to determine what was going on, whether any food was involved, and how they might benefit.
Recent Use: “Monica the dog became an Internet hero when she used her flooftective skills to find a hapless kitten and then encourage the poor flooflet to follow her home.
Monica the flooftective
2. Actions taken to keep or make animals safe. Origins: Public use was originally found in newspaper articles circa 1849.
In Use: “Learning of a cougar prowling the neighborhood, people took the flooftective measures of bringing in their pets and closing pet doors.”
Recent Use: “A newer development to add flooftective elements to a house is catios, often made by adding small cages or kennels to a patio which cats can access directly from the house.”
3. A person who undertakes solving a mystery which involves an animal. Origins: first use was in the early twenty-first century on the world wide web.
In Use: “Determining how dinosaurs died when fossils are found often require people to be flooftectives and examine the evidence for clues.”
Recent Use: “Coming home to find much of the house destroyed, Connie became a flooftective to learn which of the cats and dogs had turned over the plants, tore up pillows, and spread toilet paper in the bathroom and down the hall. All suspects presented innocent visages, so the task was challenging until some paw prints were found.”
Cruoof(floofinition) – An intense fatuation with an animal. Origins: Internet, 2022
In Use: “After arriving as a rescue dog at Sara, the senior lab immediately developed a cruoof on the kittens Sara was fostering, inviting them to cuddle and play with him, and watching over them when they ate.”
In Use: “Butterscotch had a cruoof on Mocha, always running to him when she saw him, and grazing beside him as he ate.”
Recent Use: “Lisa developed a cruoof on her aunt’s Bernese Mountain Dog, Samwise, and within a few minutes, the dog seemed to have the same feelings for the four-year-old as the two spent the rest of the day side by side.”
Michael Seidel, writer 