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Flooferone (floofinition) – a pet’s task to escort people around the house to ensure they don’t get lost, hurt, or attacked.
In use: “One important flooferone duty was going to the bathroom with people, and protect them from others. Something or someone breaking in was a constant risk and getting their people was a risk that the humans just didn’t grasp.”
Floofback (floofinition) – feedback or information about reactions to a product, a performance, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement or change.
In use: “His cat enjoyed tummy rubs but gave fast floofback with sharp claws and a quick nip when the tummy-rub session should be ended.”
Floofogenesis (floofinition) – the development and strengthening of housepets between one another, with their or both.
In use: “A rescue from a bad situation, the German Shepherd often hid and growled in the early day. Through a long, patient floofogenesis, the dog came to trust her. She silently cried the first time he came into her bedroom, jumped on the bed and settled down to sleep beside her as she read.”
Floofpository (floofinition) – a place where items for housepets are stored; the location housepets use to store their trophies, hide their treasures, or conduct private business; (slang) a kitty-litter box, also called a shitpository.
In use: “Although several utility room shelves were employed as a floofpository for cat and dog food and baskets of toys for each, the dog had a habit of stealing socks and stashing them in the office, making it a sock floofpository, and the cat always puked in the bedroom corner, turning it into a hairball floofpository.”
Floofverture (floofinition) – an approach by an animal, typically a housepet, for assistance.
In use: “Many unhomed canine mothers made floofvertures to people they could trust to help them with their puppies.”
Heftyfloof (floofinition) – a pet which is large boned or has a thick, fluffy coat of fur, giving it an appearance of being larger that it is.
In use: “He was a heftyfloof, with a silver and gray coat that radiated out, but underneath that coat was a very slender boy.”
Evanfloofical (floofinition) – of or according to the teachings of the animals.
In use: “Following the evanfloofical faith, he soon learned about being patient, compassionate, and giving while interacting with his pets.”
Eflooflitarianism (floofinition) – the doctrine that all animals are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities.
In use: “Eflooflitarianism was rampant in the Thresher household. All found animals were treated and protected, including an injured sewer rat. They planned to foster these animals and find them homes or return them to their natural habitats, but instead extended their house with pet condos to house all of their friends.”
Unifloofal (floofinition) – the presence of housepets occurring everywhere; a term that encompasses every housepet.
In use: “Pets are unifloofal in some neighborhoods, with a cat or dog visible in a yard or window, with unknown others such as birds and fish out of sight in the house.”
Floofsical (floofinition) – a housepet’s unusual behavior or appearance, especially in an appealing and amusing way; a play or movie strongly featuring housepets in central roles.
In use: “Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey is a well-known 1993 floofsical that featured a cat and two dogs in a remake of the 1963 movie.”
Michael Seidel, writer 